Mayra

Hesitation and less chance!

2011-10-26T00:39:00.000-07:00

They all already know what they will be doing tomorrow, despite you!!!

2011-09-16T05:28:00.000-07:00

Words can't describe how much I hate this time of year!

Stone age attitudes

2011-09-09T00:36:00.000-07:00

At this point of time you definitely need to change your attitude about women. This change is really necessary for someone like you with this social level. If I were you, I would start right now, tomorrow might be too late for you.

!...!

2011-08-31T04:46:00.001-07:00

I've never found myself that much playful! Begging you to concentrate just for a couple of months, then every thing would be much better than now...at least I think so.

has no title

2011-07-04T06:48:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately there is something in life, you can never get it.. never! It doesn't matter at all how much effort you put or how much you struggle for having them...

Nowruz 1390

2011-03-22T04:33:00.001-07:00

I clean the glass table in the middle of the room. Spread out a tablecloth which is made with golden ribbon over the table. Then I look for those small brown-red plates which my Mom has been given around 30 years ago because of my birthday. I was given them last time when I was at home. I go to the kitchen to find them in the cabinet. Now I should find senjed, somagh, sir, sekkeh, serkeh and sonbolo sabzeh. I have prepared all of them last week. I put seven S in my lovely plates and set the table with them, one by one. I also bring few colorful eggs and add to the seven sin table, though the eggs have nothing to do with S letter but I like to have them on the table. They remind me of my childhood. I think to myself whatelse my seven S table still needs? I turn my head around and suddenly my eyes stair at your photo on the shelf books... Yes I have to find the best place for your photo. Your photo goes and sits beside my favorite flowers on the table. I try to take the best shot of the table then email the photo to those people who smile when they see it.

Now you, my love and me are waiting and counting the minutes to turn the new day...

Nowruz bar hame Mobarak, Happy Nowruz!

...

2011-02-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

It has been one year today since you left us forever without saying anything. That was the absolute worst day of my life...

We Iranians!

2010-11-22T03:01:00.000-08:00

Today morning I saw one of the secretary ladies, who work at the administration office of master studies, while making tea in the kitchen. She asked me whether I know one of Iranian students who recently started studying master. I know him but not better than her. Apparently this new student behaves a bit strange. Once he went to her office and excused for some money (some kind of cadge)!! Once again he impolitely spoke to a professor who is the director of the institute and also master study. He is a respectful professor here.
I really felt sorry. Because the way of this secretary's talking was somehow like, this sort of behavior might be common in Iran but it is not acceptable here and so on.. .Just imagine on Monday, early morning facing such a story. Monday morning itself is weariful enough with group meeting. Now I was trying to explain and justify...I would mention this lady is really nice and kind and I like her.
In fact once I received an email from this Iranian guy when he was still in Iran. He wanted to know more about studying in our field and asked some questions which are quite normal to me. I receive these E- mails most of the time. The way of his speaking was a bit strange for me. I tried to answer his first and second E-mail then I preferred ignoring his E-mails. When he came here, he found my office and came to me to talk about finding job and apartment in the city although I couldn't help him at all. Finding part time job beside studying is almost impossible here and the rents are really expensive.
My impression was, he lives in his own world and I didn't like it. He was kind of exaggerating and I couldn't believe him so much. To make a long story short, since the faculty more or less faced some other similar stories before; they have made a decision not to accept any applicants from Iran anymore which is really disappointing. One comes here and does whatever he wants and as a consequence those ones who really want to study cannot come here anymore and get deprived.
That's why always I say we should behave carefully here. Because in Europe especially this country there is not many Iranians and they don't know our country well. They mix us up with Arabic culture or even worse with Taliban and Afghanistan. For instance I was asked few times that how many wives my father has!¨!

I know an Iranian who is used to asking: how old are you?!! as soon as he starts to talk to someone. Once I tried to make him understand very indirectly that he should not ask this question immediately, at least in front of those people whom he doesn't still know well but it seems didn't affect on him :-) Come on! Even in Iran asking people their age is not so courteous, especially when you are not that close with.
I believe that if someone decides to live in a foreign country because of any reason, has to respect to the cultures, traditions and rules of the country. I know at some point it gets really difficult. If you can't do it or don't like it or whatever else, you should not migrate. That's it. I don’t absolutely mean the west culture is perfect and better than ours. I mean just some sort of integrating and respecting.

in Coffee Break

2010-11-18T05:32:00.000-08:00

Swiss colleague: I guess you don't need to have weather forecast in UK, since it is gonna be rainy anyway.

British Colleague: No, of course we do need to know in advance which type of rain.

Me: Thank God I haven't suddenly decided to go there for living although here is not so much better.

a New Post

2010-11-08T03:12:00.000-08:00

This blog tends to slow down a lot. But I try not to let it get closed. The highlight of the last month in terms of my private life, was my birthday. Thank god I enjoyed my birthday a lot this year :-) much more than ever. I made decision to go out for having dinner with our friends and colleagues. I wanted to try a new restaurant where would be definitely good enough and worthy to go for a birthday event. A colleague of mine recommended a Mongolian restaurant which was really good choice. Every body liked the food and also their service. The restaurant had a surprise for me which was funny. Usually I avoid to have very strange foods in any name. Actually some types of food are not adapted to my taste so much. But this time I loved the dish. Anyway to make a long story short, we spend 5 hours there, we didn't realize, time was so quick. Then we went to an old fashion bar in downtown where also was nice. I haven't been there before. I got some sort of surprise present which I didn't expect it at all. A friend of ours gave us an entrance ticket of Hammam, where you can have a lot of fun there. We haven't yet found spare time to go there though. But it is in our schedule :-). I was told, it's worth to try it at least once.

The project which I am working on, is going forward although it is not so straightforward. Sometimes I face some sort of problem which seems impossible to be solved but after many times trying and working, I can eventually make it work which is really enjoyable at the end.

The weather is getting chilly here, today morning temperature was 4 already. Two weeks ago the temperature went down until -1 degree. It was unbelievable in October such cold weather. We started looking for a warm place to spend our Christmas holiday there.

I always say that I am not politician and don't talk about it so much but this doesn't mean that I don't care about it.
I gave this introduction to talk about the new economics satiation and inflation in Iran with stopping subvention. In the most of the countries all over the world, the governments pay subvention and support their farmer. I am really worried about this new circumstance although I am not there. This unclear situation affects our lives directly or indirectly either we live there or we don't. Whenever I go back home, become surprise with those crazy prices. If you consider the level of salary in Iran and here, then compare the prices, at the end you end up with more expensive life in Iran rather than here.
As usual this bad economy and unbelievable inflation has nothing to do with wealthy families. They might even get richer and take some advantages out of it.who knows!! But those categories of people who don't earn enough get hurt and face problems. Again who cares?!!
I don't really know what it's going on in our politicians brains nowadays and why they make every thing worse and worse. Every morning they wake up with a new decision but I wonder whether they are aware of what the difference is between a good and creative decision and useless one? Or are they aware of what they are doing with people and the country itself. Maybe they know it well and they behave like this in purpose.

One year older

2010-10-08T04:02:00.000-07:00

Today is October 8th and my birthday :-)

coming back

2010-09-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

We have just returned from a two week holiday. Usually after holiday getting used to working is not that easy. Now I am looking forward to taking my next holiday. We went to Iran and had a lot of fun there. Both of us were not introduced to our extended families and suddenly faced many new people. I was quite good to remember the relationship and names but for my hausband was not that easy. Actually he didn't care so much to remember names and took it easy which is the best thing. The most important point was we felt comfortable and didn't have problem with this sort of family visiting. I even liked it a lot. We were paid attention and that was not bad. It was a pity that we couldn't spend more time with our families and friends there. The time passed like wind and suddenly we found out we must pack our luggage and leave our family again. It was actually my fault. I couldn't take more than two weeks holiday because of my new job. The weather was not too warm and even it was rainy for one day there.
Home is home and always it is comfortable, makes me happy and relaxed. I miss it already and looking forward to being there again. My colleagues told me, you seem happy and relaxed, it looks like you've had a nice holiday at home.

Finally a new post!

2010-08-25T03:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't written here for a long time. Many things happened to me and my life during this period, I don't remember all of them. The highlight news is, finishing my university and starting to work at the university for a new project.
We had some guests from Iran during summer at our place and of course some trips with them around.

Summer was too short here. I can't count it as summer. No clue what was that.
My new job is a bit stressful and challenging, it is not a boring job like every morning starting with the same thing to do until evening, but I am stressed and supposed to have result in any case. I like it because I learn many new things every day, and am not stuck at the certain level although I am stressed a lot.

My office has changed and in front of my new place there is a small farm with some ducks and sheeps around. Sometimes they entertain me in between they are funny. I like this new view at my office.

At the end I should mention that I don't know how often i can write here, hope I can keep writing here.

...

2010-03-08T02:48:00.001-08:00

مي خوانمت اي خوب من 2

2010-02-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

About four years ago I wrote this post here for you my dear father....

مي خوانمت ولي صدايي نمي شنوم دوباره صدايت مي زنم باز هم به غير از سكوت چيزي نيست به دنبال صدايت مي گردم ولي بي فايده است ديگر صدايي نيست آخ باز هم فراموش كردم كه ديگر صدايي نيست
حال چه كنم چه را جايگزين نجواهاي روزانه ات بنمايم اي از جان بهترم
مي دانم مي دانم كه برق چشمانت گوياتر از هر صدايي است ولي گوشهايم را چه كنم كه تشنه زمزمه هاي مهربانت است چشمانم به جستجو مي پردازد سعي ميكند كه با ديدن بشنود باز هم سعي ميكند ولي حلقه اشك اجازه ديدن نمي دهد ديگر چيزي پيدا نيست به غير از موج زدن قطره هاي اشك در ساحل خشك تنهاي چشمانم
خودت به من آموختي كه دريا باشم دلي به بزرگي دريا داشته باشم ولي دلي به بزرگي دريا نيز به صداي هميشگي امواج خود نياز دارد درست مثل دريا
من تشنه زمزمه هايت تشنه صداي دلنشينت هستم
مي خواهمت
با ذره ذره وجودم وجودت را مي خواهم

Now you have left me alone forever and moved out somewhere else, tell me what I do....

About every thing

2010-01-13T04:43:00.000-08:00

For a while I haven’t written here.. just wasn’t in mood of writing although I had some subjects in my mind to write. We had about two weeks Christmas and New year holiday. It was a good opportunity to rest and relax. I Prefer having a longer holiday as usual.

As you may heard from media here the weather is really cold. We are somehow freezing. I have had a cold from first week of holiday, couldn’t still get it over completely since the weather is really cold. Sometimes airports are closed for a while and airplanes can’t land or have to land somewhere else instead of its destination. I think traveling in winter is really annoying.

Over the holiday for few days we went to Paris. It was great. For me it was like dream to visit Louver museum since I was 12 -13 years old and this dream finally came true. It was amazing,, watching Monalisa painting and also see so many historical statues which are from Persian Empire, Egypt, Rome and so on...
Paris is one of those cities in the world where is worth to see it at least once in your life. It was strange for me when I saw somebody thinks Louvre has only painting, even one French guy who sits in front of me at our office.
The only thing that I didn’t like it, was metro station, it was really dirty. It is not comparable with Switzerland at all and I don’t expect this, but compared to other European countries where I’ve ever seen, it was really messy.
Although the metro trains were really on time and you didn’t need to wait more than 5 minutes to get the train and you could find enough information but as I said it was not that clean. I would mention this metro was built about one hundred years ago not all of it but actually its construction started that time so it’s quite old,. This might be one reason..another thing is, there has so many foreigners mostly from north African countries specially in Paris. I personally saw one of them who was destroying ashcan in a station of metro just for fun with his friends the thing you never see here. I may upload some photos from Paris here.
It was funny, once we were in the train to go to our hotel place and suddenly I heard the Azan sound from a mobile phone, azan in Paris!!… then I found out it was Arab guy’s phone who has sat beside us. I know many countries have foreigners and immigrants and also I’m a foreigner. My impression is, those foreigners don’t want to change or better to say, don’t want to integrate themselves into new situation or new culture.
.
Regarding the two last post in my blog I would say SVP party won in this referendum and Swiss people voted to ban the minaret construction . Then most of the young and also educated people protested and demonstrated against this result. For sure none of them was killed on the street by the government like in our country . ….For a while the minaret subject has been discussed. They say if we are a democratic country then every one and also every religion should have freedom,…other wise you have to ban the church construction as well. This is their opinion.

It's incredible... how can some people close their eyes and ears, switch off their brain and then try to make decision for their whole life...

یلدا مبارک

2009-12-21T00:04:00.000-08:00

2012 Movie

2009-11-23T02:12:00.001-08:00

We could finally enjoy the weekend after having few busy weekends during two last months. we also went to Cinema and watched 2012 movie which is made in 2009. Directed by Roland Emmerich, which stars Thandie Newton, Amanda Peet, Woody Harrelson, Danny Glover and John Cusack, and the story tells of a golbal cataclysm, that brings an end to the world based on Maya prediction. It was perfect, I liked it. It's a move that has to be watched in cinema to enjoy its special and exciting parts. I recommend you to go and watch this movie if you want to be excited for around 150 min.

Usually cinema is not that crowded here and half of the salon is empty, but this time we stood in the queue to buy the ticket and were worried about finishing the ticket.

The Swiss will ban the construction of minaret?

2009-11-19T00:47:00.000-08:00

Switzerland will hold a referendum on whether to ban the construction of minaret at the end of this month. A politician’s party, SVP ‘’Swiss people’s party’’ strongly considers to ban building minaret in Switzerland. One of their reasons is, if we let Muslims build minaret then near 60 percents of Swiss people become Muslim in the next few years. In my opinion this reason is really ridiculous. They have hanged many posters in downtown in which a woman’s face with burqa and also some black minarets that are tearing up the Swiss flag are seen. SVP is an anti-foreigner campaign.
I was curious to know how Swiss people think about this issue and what their opinion is. I asked some of my colleagues and also friends who are Swiss. I expected them to say, we are against this and we don’t like to have minaret or we are going to support the SVP party. But they all said, we don’t like that much exaggeration. Moslems should have right to build mosque with minaret or without. We have a democratic country and we wouldn’t have such rules. One of them said: I don’t like that a minaret is built beside my home and for sure if they come and ask me: we want to make a minaret beside your home I say no, I don’t agree. But this shouldn’t be as a general rule for the whole country. Someone else said: There is no advantage in minaret ban. It’s just like pouring gas in the fire and making gap between different nations. This was the opinion of some students, I don’t know about normal people. By the way Switzerland already has 3 or 4 minarets and also mosques.
In Switzerland, if you want to build for instance a small barbeque place, in your garden or your yard, first you have to register then ask your neighbors whether they agree with you or do they let you build it? If they say No, then you cannot build it and would forget it or try to convince them again.
Here you can see the SVP poster.

I remember a couple of years ago one of our neighbors was building an apartment beside our house. He destroyed our yard’s wall suddenly. We built the wall again; even he didn’t come to apologize. He was really rudesby.

These days the weather is not that cold and temperature is between 5 until 15 degrees. It’s really great, I like it. This weekend temperature is going up till 16 degrees.
I work every day, five days per week on my thesis and one day is counted as my job. I could finally pass the mathematical calculations phase of my thesis somehow. I like my super wiser, he is very calm and smart enough. It means there is no reason to complain these days. Based on my experience some factors which can have effect on quality of your work is your boss or super wiser and also the place where you work. These two factors play an important role in your success. I like working in scientific area because you don’t see the serious job hierarchy there. People are very simple and easy, just try to learn more and get some results also they help you as much as they can when you ask them. You don't see fighting or competition for the higher position so much. You feel more comfortable in your job and can concentrate on your project. I may continue my job in scientific area although there is no so much money in it.

P.s. I don't care whether they ban the construction minaret or they don't. To me all religions come from the same root. Please don't try to convince me that Islam is not peaceful or it is. Related to those comments which are not so reasonable and have nothing to do with my post, in my opinion.

One year older!

2009-10-08T02:53:00.000-07:00

I'm one year older today, it's right today is my birthday. Since today is my day so I uploaded a photo of my favorite flower that reminds me of my childhood.

Warm Autumn

2009-10-07T03:05:00.000-07:00

The weather is quite warm here. In October the temperature is 23, 24 degrees it’s unbelievable for me. I remember last year it was the middle of September which the maximum temperature was around 14 or 15 degrees. I’m happy with such an autumn. Actually we had long summer this year, it is great. You know that I was born for spring and summer season (It's mentioned few times here) although I was born in Autumn ;-)

There is no special news from my side just working every day. Have faced the complicated math equations in my project recently and have no clue so far. Hope this step passes soon.

Indeed these days I’m waiting for… :D

2009-09-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

Came to work today morning, so many things to read, to write to discuss and to calculate but it seems I'm not at work, my body is here but my mind, my thought is somewhere else. Where i don't know exactly, it might be any where except at institute. For few minutes I go to my mother's kitchen at home, come back and go to very old and interesting bazaar in Milan, Italy, again go somewhere else like that nice beach in Grand canary or those people who are still in the prisons... The most interesting part is I'm enjoying these thoughts today. We had group meeting in the morning and I was supposed to participate in, while my super wiser forgot to tell me fortunately :D

I'm thinking about some weird people and their funny behaviors. Sometimes they hide themselves or make a show that they don't care or their life is so valuable and have no time and so on.., it means you have been forgotten for ever, wow!! that's perfect but... but here is not end of the story, on the other hand all the time they are looking for you !!! what are you doing? where are you? what happens for you? it might be a reason, for instance to find bad news from you or good news to ... for what?!! who cares..

I wrote these few lines here, just to mention them that unfortunately or fortunately I know it well because of the obvious races which are left from them...

Lets forget them and think about how we can fold the grape's leaf for cooking dolme or how i calculate this surface tension of tear film on the eye for analyzing Goldmann measurement of interocular pressure or what position is better for our new furniture at home? See life's so simple if we think simple too.

Autumn is coming, my birth season:) Actually you can not feel real autumn. Autumn is a season which is lost here and winter has taken its place perfectly.

A couple of days back I asked one of our secretaries to give me one of her recipes for baking cake, she is perfect in cooking just imagine she has hundreds cookbooks. I had plan to cook a big cake with chocolate. But then I changed my mind, I couldn't find time and forgot it. Since that day whenever she meets me immediately asks did you cook the cake or any news from the cake? I say: not yet I haven't still cooked it. nunet nabud abet nabud recipe gereftanet chi bud tu in hiro vir:) She is very nice lady I like her.

I was working beside my husband before and we were working on the same desk somehow :D. Then he was graduated and left here. Now I'm alone. When I was single, didn't like a couple who work at the same place, I thought it's boring. Now I say to you that it's not boring at all. It's more interesting than working alone.

It's 10:30 and I still sink in my thoughts totally, what the delightful thoughts.

Have a happy day :)

2009-08-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

Today I received the result of two last exams which I was worried about them so much and nervous. It means there is no course to pass any more so I'm happy. When I started this subject I wasn't so hopeful because of many reasons. I would say it was not easy at all specially some courses were too tough and heavy in this field for all students. I tried and again tried, I didn't give it up and even didn't think about some other ways, just tried to do my best and now I'm satisfied with my decision. Actually after having stress for long time now I can relax a bit and I'll keep on working on my thesis. Fortunately my superwiser is a nice guy and up to now has helped me a lot. Hope I can pass this step successfully and will start next steps. As we all know, studying never ends if we would like.

Some short trips around Switzerland

2009-08-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

Zermatt

Matterhorn mountain, Zermatt

Lausanne lake

Stockhorn region

Gurten, Bern

آتش

2009-06-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

خانه ام آتش گرفته ست ، آتشي جانسوز. هر طرف مي سوزد اين آتش. پرده ها و فرشها را ، تارشان با پود. من به هر سو مي دوم گريان. در لهيب آتش پر دود

Anniversary!

2009-06-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Today (19th June, 29th khordad ) is the anniversary of Dr. Ali Shariaty's death.

Yadash gerami va rahash payandeh bad

I recommend the book ''A portrait of life " by: Dr. Puran shariat Razavi for who doesn't know him so much and is interested in knowing him more.
This book is only available in farsi. ''Tarhi az yek zendegi''

My mother country

2009-06-15T02:59:00.000-07:00

I'm still shocked....shocked at this difference interpretation! Unfortunately have nothing to say except looking forward with anxious eyes these days!

Daily Life

2009-06-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

I had exam today morning actually was my first exam in this semester. It was not bad, expected a little more. But when the course takes place in German and the Professor who is responsible for the course, teaches his own book so you are expected to know the book word by word by heart otherwise wouldn’t have expected so much :D

I have no exam for one week then the rest of the exams will start next week untill end of this month then I’ll start my thesis. Therefore there is no summer holiday this year. The most important exam for me was the exam which I did today. Hope it goes well. Here I cannot guess about the exam’s result before having the marks because their grading system is totally different compared to our system in Iran. I need more time to become experienced in it like when I was at the university in Iran. When the exam period starts I miss the examination time in student house in bachelor so much. We had so many funny stories those days. The time passes like wind and people change faster. Only one word or one second or just a wrong feeling is enough to destroy every thing …any way I forgave and forgot then I have good feeling. My heart is not so big but is not that much small.

I just talked with my mother; she is not so well these days. I’m so upset and worried about her health situation, she is supposed to look after my father while she is not fit. I would love to be beside them to compensate my faults which I have done so far, like most of the children. Sometimes I think about her solitude and forbearance I’m surprised, my God! how one can be that much patient and hopeful. In my opinion the life of most of the Iranian women could be a valuable book ….

Three years ago this Jun I started writing here, I’m happy with it.

So Happy birthday my web log!

I’m too much busy with my exams and university and it also affects on my husband ; he is really involved in housework much more than before to help me and also his thesis and graduate stuff. I’m lucky to have him and his suppor in my life.

This time : حافظ

2009-05-23T03:37:00.000-07:00

ما ز یاران چشم یاری داشتیم
خود غلط بود آن چه ما پنداشتیم
تا درخت دوستی برگی دهد
حالیا رفتیم و تخمی کاشتیم
گفت و گو آیین درویشی نبود
ور نه با تو ماجراها داشتیم
شیوه چشمت فریب جنگ داشت
ما غلط کردیم و صلح انگاشتیم
گلبن حسنت نه خود شد دلفروز
ما دم همت بر او بگماشتیم

It makes sense :)

2009-05-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

In the previous post I mentioned, spring without Chaghale badum doesn't make sense. Now it makes sense for me. Juyande yabandast:) I could find chaghale badum and also Gujeh sabz on Friday. By now we have totally eaten one kg chaghale and one kg gojeh sabz.

If you didn't have a real Iranian home and had plane to cook Persian food for instance Abgusht Oops!, please first think about the stuff which maybe you will need like Gush koob, otherwise you must use...it's better to say nothing :))

I was thinking that having the small wishes is better or .., these kind of wishes become true earlier and cause happiness, on the other hand maybe there is no so much progress in your life. I don't know!!!... lets go to work again I've got no time.

Just a new post

2009-04-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

* I'm involved in my courses and projects these days. I'm so busy that I can't organize my mind for some important issues. Other hand I have to prepare myself for taking the master thesis as soon as possible while I haven't decided what I would to do. Every week there's a pile of assignments and lab reports on my desk which I have to hand them in on time if I can. My exams start in six weeks and I'm thinking how I should work on them to get an acceptable result...?
I had the Easter break for one week but I didn't work so much just was relaxed and taking rest because I really needed it.

*Spring has arrived in our city at last after a long winter that we had last year and obviously I don't need to wear my huge jacket any more:D I packed the warm clothes with a lot of happiness. I was born for spring and summer although I've got an Autumn Birthday. But spring without (Chaghale badum ) doesn't make sense somehow for me:D Lets think about what we have ...!

*I'm so happy with our apartment, it's quite nice with the good neighbors and enough light.[Light is too important in this country] Actually when your neighbor doesn't bother you I mean doesn't make noise and you don't see her/im so often therefore it would be a great neighbor, wouldn't it:)

*We have planed to invite our friends one by one for house warming and we've already started with some. Once I cooked some persian foods for two German and Swiss guys, they ate a lot and liked our food's taste so much. It was good and so funny, be sure I didn't cook Ghorme sabzi ;0)

*At our work most of the students and coworkers are going to change and we have many new PhD students and colleague. But this 's pretty normal in such a scientific area. It's not bad, you become familiar with more new culture and can find more friends.

Nowruz in Canary Islands

2009-04-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

A great Eidi

2009-03-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

One of my good friends who is from Check republic has sent to me this photo with a congratulation for Nowruz, today. That was wonderful because she didn't forget what I said about our new year and Nowruz one month ago and even she remembered that 20th of March is Eid not 21st. I have told some other friends and classmates. They forgot it for sure this is not important for them. But she has tried to show me her respect and her nice feeling.
This was a nice gift that I have received for Nowroz. Kheili chasbid:)

Some News ;-)

2009-03-02T01:21:00.000-08:00

After three steps '' in Iran and here which was not that much easy'' and also a lot of working papers we got married :=)

We invited some friends and family in our very small party and tried to get the most enjoyment in whole processes and less stress. We avoided too much exaggerated and that was the most important reason to have more fun.

We moved to our new apartment from dormitory. Leaving dormitory after around 2 years was not easy but I would say our own home is much more comfortable and you can have more private life. At least this is my experience during these three weeks. Our apartment is not that much big but is big enough for us. Don't forget here is Switzerland, a small country, where every thing is in small size even XS :0) exactly like those Cartoons which we have watched a lot in our childhood...

Spring semester has already started and it is getting more difficult...actually studying is not easy, you know it better than me:) But I like it much more than working

P.S. We need your good wishes.

This time on the mountains

2009-02-23T00:28:00.000-08:00

A sunny weekend

2009-02-16T12:06:00.001-08:00

After few months of cloudy snowy and windy weather, the weather was really fantastic this weekend, and we tried to take advantage of it as much as we could beside a lake of Montreux...

My tired and weary mind....

2009-02-09T05:51:00.000-08:00

When you have exam you like to do every thing except learning. You would like to finish your job and show it to your boss, you like to cook and eat Persian foods, you have a lot of things in your mind that you would like to write them on your blog every day, you would like to go shopping, you like to call your friends and family or chat with them, you are thinking about a fantastic trip, you would like to clean your home more and more, you would like.....
But when the exams finish what happens?!
You don't want to do any thing any more. This is my case now after having exam for two months. Maybe because I'm really tired...

Last night we went to cinema to watch a film by chance. That was the worst film which I have ever seen. The Spirit(2008)
Since last night I'm thinking about its director and sponsor, that how they could make such a film and what was their logical reason!! I can't still find any reason...

Here the cinema's ticket is really expensive. It's around 20 times more expensive in Iran and even more expensive compared to the neighbor countries but we like to watch the film on the cinema's screen and usually if we can find time we go to cinema but this time...

She was not a sheep!!

2009-01-09T03:24:00.000-08:00

Today morning as usual I checked the bbc news page on the internet and I saw this news about a 14-year-old Afghan girl...
It's unbelievable, her mother and brother cut her to abortion in stable...and took out her fetus then they sutured her by normal needle....
After reading this news I can not concentrate on my work. I'm thinking that how they could wildly behave with her. They were her family and they would have supported her..

Somebody comes and talk about animals rights in this wild world, it's so funny for me thinking about animals and their rights while behave with people like animals. Who wants talking about human rights, women's rights or who wants speak about those children who are being killed in Gaza each second, who is responsible for them?

My heart gives pain today and I'm so sad for our bad and wild world....

Silvester night

2008-12-31T07:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight is Silvester. We have nothing special to do except to learn Physiology, unfortunately! We are invited to an Italian restaurant by one of my friends but we didn't accept it. First because of my studies and second reason is related to last winter. We used to go to one of the good Italian restaurants in the old city. their foods were good and I liked their pizza. Italian pizza is totally different compared to that kind of pizza which we eat in Iran. If you say we eat pizza with tomato sauce they are surprised and even they don't like to hear it. Anyway once we decided to go to new restaurant. we went there and ordered salad and pizza. We started to eat our salad, after few minuets I saw a strange thing in my salad. First I didn't believe it when I looked at it carefully, I found out this was a dead beetle. I could not believe it because something like this had never happened for me even in Iran. And usually we use of this kind of stories by beetle for fun and as joke. So we stay at home tonight then eat our dinner. Maybe after dinner we go out to have the fresh air and enjoy the happiness of people in the street.
I just heard from my niece that her friend makes the new year party at her home tonight and invited her in Iran:)) It's so funny for me because here people don't make new year party so often and don't care about it, while we think that what a wonderful night or celebration they have for New year . Nababa.. where is spare time here? If they have some plan to make party, usually you should bring your own drinks and sometimes even your own food. What we learn about foreign countries is in the Hollywood movies and that is it. Plus every single country has its own traditions. But we know that sometimes some people (not all) try to do some strange thing or exaggerate in Iran just in order to be a bit different and show themselves. Then they come to others and talk about what they have done what they had.... I'm from that sociality and grew up between them so I know them very well. I clearly write here that I hate this kind of behavior and it really bothers me. Fortunately I'm far way from them here and this is one of the positive points that helps me to keep on my way to get final aim. I was lucky that I haven't seen something like this here. If there is , I'm sure there is, maybe in different version.

At the end I wish a very happy 2009 for every one.

P.S. This was a completely personal idea and experience.

Das gefällt mir so!!

2008-12-17T04:56:00.000-08:00

Summer & Winter view of my room

2008-12-13T07:22:00.001-08:00

So I like summer more than winter hummmmmm but where is summer? when does it come to this city again?

By the way
Thank you for your nice gift.

My sick friend

2008-11-18T02:05:00.001-08:00

I saw her in the city during the Euro cup soccer 2008. I know her by one of my classmates at the university course. Most of the time she has a nice smile on her lips that makes you smile.I like this her nice character.
Sometimes we see each other in the city center, coffee shop or library. She has got married and studies here.
Last time when I saw her, she told me that she feels pain in her lymphatic glands and they are swelling. She was worried and I said : Don't worry you feel better soon. I think it can not be serious problem, sometimes happens and so on.
Lats Monday she should have received the result of her blood test and I called on her mobile phone on Tuesday to get news from the blood result. Her sister answered her mobile phone, she was in hospital with her sister, then I went there to see her. I was shocked so that if I saw her with this new face in the street or somewhere else I could not recognize her.
Her eyes are swollen and she can not keep opening her eyes. They have infection. Her mouth has some wounds and is swollen as well and this has caused she can not speak or eat food anymore. The main problem is that her result blood tests don't show anything and Doctors don't know exactly what is wrong with her. Just they said that there is a possibility to have a type of medical allergy but they are not sure yet and they keep her away from others and you have to wear a cover and the gloves for entering inside the room.

My friend told me that maybe Doctors know her disease and don't still want to tell her.
I'm too sad since last week and I can not forget her. Each day I'm praying for her.

We can not guess, yes! even guess that what happens in our life one hour later...And all the time we are nagging about what we don't have and never take care about what we have....

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I just found out She has gone home and is getting better. As she told me for 5 weeks she should stay in bed. This was good news, Thank God

This weekend in the Cinema

2008-11-17T00:49:00.000-08:00

Quantum of Solace is the name of Bond's movies that these days you can see every where his poster. I watched it yesterday evening in new big mall where recently has been made in our city. I was in different cinemas but this cinema is made perfectly with 11 salons and you can choose the language of the film and go to the right salon.
This time Bond has changed a bit"Daniel Craig plays Bond's role" and this changing makes his movie different compared to other Bond films. I was not interested in Bond movies but this time it was OK. The story starts..
Vesper is dead and James Bond is out to seek revenge. He wants to find out why Vesper was killed and begins the search for a secret organization that has apparently managed to infiltrate all levels of political security. But then when M himself begins to doubt Bond, everything seems to be lost.

My studying

2008-10-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

The first winter snow is coming tonight. I'm sitting in my room and watching the big snow flakes which are dancing and at last lying on the trees and on the roofs. They are really big, so that I haven't ever seen that big snow flakes.

I should study and learn so many things but I don't know, why I can not. I have done whatever that you can guess, except studying. Every day I have to go to University, so during the day I don't have time to review what they teach us while I have to do it. Each weekend we have new plans, somehow intensive plan, like last week and two weeks ago. It means at the weekend there is no possibility to study. Well when can I study a bit? In the evening!!!!! Like at the moment;-)
This semester I have some heavy courses, that if I can pass them, then I feel that I will graduate.. ..
I don't know why the time passes too fast! Sometimes I think there is not any days between weekends. On Monday I wake up and I have the feeling that tomorrow will be Saturday...
Last week I was chatting with one of my classmate at the university about the courses. I was talking that I can not study at the weekend, even I can not study in the evening after work because I'm totally tired then he told me, Maryam! you can not learn anytime!!! he was surprised and I was ashamed....

Most of my classmate work like me, or even more than me, like 2 or 3 days in a week while they are so good in class and their marks are perfect as well. I think, because of their organized mind that I wish I had it.

2-Today morning I was in the laser class, Professor was teaching about thermal camera and its application at the end he said this camera that is on the desk is much more expensive than a normal car. Just its lens is about 50,000$ Just imagine the university bought it to educate the students. See exactly like Iran's Universities with a bit difference.

3-Today morning after class I had to go to Institute to work. I arrived and checked my mailbox I received an email from one of the group head of the institute that he informed all colleague which he became father for third time (to give this kind of news is normal here). As I heard about less than two years ago the he told about his second girl.
He looks like too happy father and has sent his baby's photo with this note:
little girls are so much fun, now we have another one. I liked this email. It made me fresh.

4- You know why people forget soon what you have done for them? I don't know ...
Shall we forget them?

4-At the end, do you have any solution to have more concentrations during the studying without flying to other planets or going to the childhood?

:-)

2008-10-07T01:12:00.000-07:00

I reached 27 years of age 1 hour ago.

Anatomy course & Autumn

2008-10-06T10:12:00.001-07:00

1. Today for the first time I saw cadaver in anatomy course. In the beginning I didn't feel well. I could not look at the cadaver when professor was talking about it. Actually today's course was not so effective for me. It was strange, because before I was thinking why some students are afraid of cadaver during the course or don't like it so much, today I found out its answer. At the end of the class I had vomiting feeling.....

2. Autumn season really arrived to this city. Although I become a bit sad when summer finishes and have to work twice as much, but this colorful city doesn't let me stay in this feeling:-)

3.The whole week I'm at the different faculties of University, and this is quite good because I know more students in different subjects but it is not so easy; at least for me; to move so much around. I have to learn a lot in this year.

4. In our floor in student house there was a chines guy. He was a strange boy that I haven't ever seen like him. He didn't use washing liquid at all for washing his dishes. He didn't talk to others, cause he could not speak English well. He never ate fruit or dairy and it was so funny, whatever that you told him, he just answered yes yes yes but nothing was changing..he always ate pasta with rice, unbelievable!!
He used to chat early in the morning, just imagine at5 o'clock with a very loud voice. And most important thing of the story was that he was doing postdoc in chemistry. He was not able to recognize some easy process in the kitchen or at least didn't want to care about it. Once his wife came to visit him. They became two, my God , they made messy every where specially the girls toilet became horrible.
I saw some others Chinese, and most of them have some strange behaviors, for example they don't speak with others or don't care about anything.
Anyway he left here and other Chinese came to our floor, we were so upset because we thought the story was starting again, but no! He is a different man. He seems to come from another county.
I just saw him in the kitchen, and he was cooking his dinner not like his country man, and he has good relationship with the others. I would say he is normal and changed my mind about Chinese people.

My Summer Vacation

2008-09-02T01:31:00.000-07:00

1- I would say this summer was not so perfect for me and was not so bad as well. I could not do what I wanted except relaxation. I had some plans for my holiday but unfortunately because of my mistake and the mistake of secretary office, all my plans were ruined (totally or partially). The highlight of the summer was that I went to Iran for doing some official things and also visiting a dentist. I didn't know, how the time was passing in Iran and suddenly I realized that I have to go to the airport.
In one week, new semester starts. I should be ready for new courses and buy some books and forget about summer and holiday:) I think a hard semester waits for me. Anyway I'm not worried and I try to do the best.
I was in Iran around three weeks. Every thing is getting expensive, unbelievable first I wanted to buy some clothes because I thought there is cheaper but it was like a dream:). These days that I was in Iran I found my decision to leave Iran and stay in a foreign country was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Before coming to Iran I was not completely sure about my decision but now I'm so happy and I'm ready to accept every hard situation. Maybe you think to yourself that I became an identity-lost person. I know, staying far away from your own country is painful. I'm sure about it but when in your country you don't have even the least human rights and you can not understand deeply when you live there because they don't want that you find it out and you live there and think with yourself, like me before coming here, all the world is like our life but is a huge mistake. I have been staying here not for long time, but I would say up to now I haven't seen that some body behave or tell me something which bothers me. They respect you because you are a human not else even at the moment that political situation of our country is not so good. In Iran, people let themselves in anyway they want with you, because of having a little money more than you even having a more important position. I'm not politician, but I have always said, the government has made us(people) behave in this way. This story is not ending here and will keep on if you want to think about it.

2- One of my best friend with her husband who got married recently came to me. They want to study at the same University as me. I'm happy because somehow I'm not so alone. I wish them all the best.

3- I have a new floor mate in student house, she is from US. She has come to Switzerland because here is a calm country but she was not so happy of this silence. She says here's so boring for me. I think she is right European people, specially in north Europe are not as warm as Americans. It seems, If you go to south the people are getting warmer and warmer.
At the end, when I said I'm from Iran I could obviously see , the changes on her face, See! The end of every thing goes back to politics Hummmm:)

My Disturbed Hair Film

2008-07-31T01:32:00.000-07:00

I saw a part of My disturbed hair film haphazard. This film has been built by Majed Neisi, about Iranian women who got married Afghan men and by force and trickery have gone to Afghanistan. They stay there in bad situation without any supporter from their family or even law.
I really became upset for them but unfortunately I can not do any thing for them.

My Photos from Lucerne

2008-07-14T03:10:00.000-07:00

I'd like to...

2008-06-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

I would like to write and write about these days, about all the days of my life ...even about my future that I do not know any more about it. I would like to apologize for every thing that I had to do and I didn't do it or I had not to do and I've done it unfortunately. I know what they are. I think to myself and find out, there are so many things in my heart, in my mind which they want to appear but I can not show them or talk about them. Who can understand them as I understood them. My exams finished and their result were well. But what about the life exam, how I can take it well or at least with an acceptable result. Now I can not decide about anything really anything just and just I would like to write what I feel and nothing else. But for who, I mean, Who can feel my feeling as I like?
I would like to be a red fish with two smooth fins and pass through rivers one by one without any stress without a mind full of worriment but with a quiet mind. I really need it.
Maybe I'm getting lost again maybe not, I'm trying to find what I am, and this is sufficient for my case...What can be better than it, that you become happy due to you have done something before?
I know this time will pass and over like other times and just stays their stain on the mind and sometimes in my heart.

.........

2008-06-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

Today (18th June, 29th khordad ) is the anniversary of Dr. Ali Shariaty's death.
Yadash gerami va Ruhash shad...

Exam, Staumann, . . .

2008-05-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning I have final exam and still I'm writing on my blog :-). Examination time is coming to bother me. I have never learned and studied like this. I think they have some plan to kill us.As usual when you have exam you do every thing except studying like the moment I am spending now.
Today we went to visit a company in dental implant production. It was so interesting and this company is the best one in dental implants in the world. It's "Straumann". After that we went to Thai restaurant to have lunch . I was really hungry and didn't care what they are serving just ate. Imagine a soup with pork meat and some Thai spice and spaghetti. Then main course. Unfortunately after eating I had the worst headache ever. I couldn't think even walk. Just I tried to get home and go to sleep like going into coma. Now I felt like blogging and not studying:-)

Some photos from Freiburg (Germany)

2008-05-01T03:25:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken from the old city of Freiburg. I've heard this city is famous in niece of Isfahan
It's amazing, isn't it?

City center

A typical flower shopping in Europe

They are saying cheese ;-)

This weekend in Milano

2008-04-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

he Duomo di Milano is one of the world's largest churches, being second in size within Italy , and being the second largest Gothic cathedral in the world, after cathedral of the Seville in Spain.

Inside the Church

shopping center

Milano's shopping mall
''a great and beautiful shopping mall''

Castello Esforzesco

Fashion shopping
Milano is the second fashion center after Paris

and somewhere else where taking photo was forbiden, like painting museum or milano theater, By the way my camera charge was not enough as usual :)

At last a new post

2008-04-06T06:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to the movie again to watch (The other Boleyn girl).
It was really a great film. All the artists play their role in an excellent way. You could feel yourself instead of artist during the movie and get his feeling completely. Film is made based on historical novel about 16th -century aristocrat Merry Boleyn.
The movie's story starts from a small country in England with an aristocrat family,they have tow beautiful girls and one son .
Once family father decided to give his old daughter to king in order to save the country and getting the best situation as a close friend of king. Because the queen couldn't have a boy and king needs a boy for keeping the British Empire.....
The movie is about the sisters, Anne Boleyn (Natalie Portman) and Marry Boleyn (scarlett Johansson), who are both fighting for the affection of King Henry 8th.

This move shows the influences of the people around king on him and they play with him to get more benefits all the time.

2008-03-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

سال نو مبارک

Two Great Films in two Wonderfull Saturday evenings

2008-02-25T12:20:00.000-08:00

Last two weekends I went to movie. I watched " Charlie Wilson's War (2007)" and" Love in the time of cholera". Both of them are great films.

Charlie Wilson's War film is based on a true story of how Charlie Wilson, an alcoholic womanizer and Texas congressman, persuaded the CIA to train and arm resistance fighters in Afghanistan to fend off the Soviet Union. Genre film is comedy and drama.

Tom Hanks plays as Charlie. Also Julia Robert is another satr who plays in the film. The film is directed by Mike Nikelson.

I always enjoy watching Tom Hanks's film, Often he plays in comedy films.

Other film is a romance and drama. Benjamin Bratt and Giovanna Mezzogiorno, Javier Bardem and Marcela mar, they are not so famous actors and actresses.
Film's story is based on a novel written by Gabriel García Márquez's Maybe you red this novel. During the film you can see the most beautiful natural view. The film's music is perfect and integrated ....This story remind us, love can be strange.

And the end, I recomend that you watch these films ;)

2008-02-14T03:52:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all ;)

A small break

2008-01-28T05:39:00.001-08:00

After six weeks ,full of the stress, I needed a break ..

Enjoy the photos!

This photo has taken of an ice palace in the middle of a famous mountain(Jungerfraujoch) with about 3500 m in height.
It was really interesting for me.

Where is the holiday?

2007-12-11T03:50:00.000-08:00

Examination,

Written examination,

Oral examination,

Getting points,

Presentation,

Learning programming,

To be ready for getting a new job….maybe middle of the examination month at the Uni,

Going to the wedding party (ghadame ma sabok bodJ)in other country,

And the end, coming my dear, after couples of months and need the time for being together …

Oh my God ….please help me!

Do you think, I can do all of them in the best case?!!!

Snowy days

2007-11-15T10:52:00.000-08:00

Now is the snow season.These days we have too much snow..This's quite wonderful for me.In Iran we have the snow just two months of the winter .These snowy days caused that everywhere would be white so the flavor of the city changed .
Christmas is comming ,when you walk around the city you can see many Christmas trees in the shopping centers .

This evening I went to the city center for shopping .The weather was snowy and people were walking and shopping without any stress .You could see the real life .I had a nice feeling .I like snwoy days,I love restful life and now I'm realy happy because of my feeling....

Movie

2007-10-25T02:42:00.000-07:00

Director: Macro Kreuzpaintner

2007

Tow days ago I watched the movie "Trade".

This movie is about the trade of the "women" in the world .It clearly shows the suffering women. Trade starts from Mexico city and goes on. . .

First I wanted to see just 10 minutes of the movie, but I could not stop watching .

Before watching the movie I thought to myself, these stories happen just in the books or some magazines to absorb more readers and audience, and nothing else!

NOW I found out that this is a real life. I’m so sorry and this is the only thing that I can say . Because nobody tries to prevent or stop them or to find the groups that are kidnapping the woman and make them to do something like forced 3.ex ….why ???

I don’ t know ....maybe therefor earning money more and more ..maybe not..

Autumn

2007-10-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

Autumn ‘s come , everywhere is yellow or orange .I like changing of life .

I enjoy watching the trees with their yellow leaves . Dry leaves fall down and spread in the streets .

I like to walk in the city ,walk on the leaves and listen to sound of them …..

2007-10-08T00:02:00.000-07:00

Just I wanted to say that,
Today is my birthday ;)

(:این هم عکس بچه گی من

2007-08-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

پر عزیز مرسی از اینکه منو دعوت کردی

ناگفته های من

2007-08-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

چشمم به روزنامه روی میز می افته , چند تا کلمه می تونم بخونم . دارم تلاش می کنم که به معنا جمله برسم که صدایی به گوشم می رسه . طرف صحبت من هستم .درست متوجه شدم .
جمله ایی گفت که من خیلی زودتر از اینها منتظر شنیدنش بودم.آخه همیشه وقتی می فهمن اهل کجایی تازه مشکلاتت شروع میشه.
الان هم که خدارو شکر کم ورد زبونا نیستیم .
از خبر ساز بودنمون گفت و من هیچ علاقه ایی به ادامه بحث نداشتم ولی چاره ا یی نبود .باید ادامه می دادم .
ولی چه میگفتم .چی دارم که بگم .اصلا چرا همون هایی که خبر سازی می کنن , خودشون نمی ان جواب بدن .
یه لبخند تحویلشون دادم .یه آن متوجه شدم همه جمع با چشمای کنجکاو منتظر جواب من هستن.
یه جمله به ذهنم رسید وبلافاصله تحویل جمع دادم .جواب من براشون غیر منتظره بود .
سعی کردم به روی خودم نیارم .نمی دونم تا چه حد مو فق بودم ...
یه لبخند مسخره بعد هم فکر فکر فکر
چرا من باید جواب بدم .چرا من اینجا باید خجالت بکشم...
ازم خواستن اسم رئیس جمهور بگم...
بعد خود این حدیث مجمل بخوان
.........................................................................................
چیزای تازه , برخوردهای نو, رفتارهای جدید
و همه روی منحنی صعودی...
.................................................................................
شما تا حالا گدایی دیدید که در حین انجام شغلش , روزنامه هم بخونه؟
هر روز صبح زود سر راه من ,دختر پانزده شانزده ساله ایی نشسته قبل از اینکه من عکسای روزنامه را یخونم .او به صفحه آخر روزنامه رسیده .
البته گویا این چیزها اینجا خیلی عادی.
.................................................................................
تمام دیشب , با عزیزی بودم که هر چه زمان می گذره بیشتر به این باور می رسم که فرشته ای تمام و کمال است .
..................................................................................
تو خودت بگو با این همه دلتنگیت چیکار کنم؟
من منتظر شنیدن .بوییدن و ...هستم پس زود برگرد..

صدای رقص باد

2007-07-29T04:37:00.000-07:00

صدای رقص باد در بین برگ در ختان چنار زیر پنجره اتاق
این زمزمه ها چه آرامش بخش و چه گوش نواز ند
چند روزی ست که گوش این زمزمه ها را می شنود ولی نمیداند از کجا و از چه روست.
امروز در یافتم که این آواز خوش از کجا جان می گیرد
و چه زیبا مرا به عمیق ترین جای جای دل کوچکم میبرد
دل کوچک دلتنگ عزیزی در راه دور است همان عزیز با دو چشم روشن
ای عزیز از جان بهترم
من این جا در هر لحظه و در هر تپش قلبم
به یادت هستم و یا بهتر است بگویم دلتنگت

نامه اي به يك دوست

2007-06-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

نميدانيم از شنيدن اين خبر خوشحال باشيم يا ناراحت
مثل عادت هميشه .يك تصميم از طرف تو كه قابل پيش بيني نيست.خب خيلي واضح است كه برايت از صميم قلب آرزوي خوشبختي داريم
ولي سودي دوست داشتني
ما همه در شوك به سر مي بريم .برايمان غير قابل باور است نديدنت نبودنت و رفتنت .راستش را بخواهي بي تو بودن تحمل زيادي مي خواهد و يا آرزوي گرفتن آلزايمر تا همه آن خاطرات شيريني كه با هم داشتيم به فراموشي محض سپرده شود.
سودي خوبم چطور فراموش كنم آن همه زيبايي روحت را؟ آن همه مهرباني و شيرينيت را
يادت مي آيد شب امتحان رياضي مهندسي.قرار بود كه با هم درس بخوانيم يادت هست كه هر تمريني كه حل مي كرديم بلافاصله مي گفتي با آن لحن خاصت : مريييم سوالاي امتحان كه اين مدلي نيست اصلا نمونه سوال امتحان ربطي به اين سوالات ندارد .من هم كه به شدت از اين درس و استادش وحشت داشتم بيشتر دچار اضطراب مي شدم و خلاصه همان با هم خواندن باعث شد كه ما با حال زار برويم و آن درس را حذف كنيم و ترم بعدي با يك استاد ديگري درس را پاس كرديم و اين ضرب المثل شد.
سودي خوبم يادت هست آن لباسي كه با روزنامه براي خودت درست كردي و شب امتحان تنت كرده بودي يادت هست آن خنده هاي وآن همه شور و حال.
اي كاش بعضي روزها هيچ وقت تمام نمي شد.
چطور فراموش كنيم شبي كه با روش خاصت به ديوار سوئيت كناري مي كوبيدي و وقتي طفلكها اعتراض مي كردند با آن همه ادا و ا صول خاص خودت ابراز بي اطلاعي مي كردي؟
يادت هست كه با آن همه ادا به موبايل استاد ((دال-نون)) زنگ زدي و چه پرسيدي وچه جواب گرفتي؟
سودي خوب و مهربانم در جمع دوستانه ما گوي مهرباني هميشه در دستان تو بود نه كس ديگري
حال بار سفر بسته اي و راهي ديار ديگري شده اي.
يادم هست اگر در قرار دوستانه ما حضور نداشتي كسي دل و دماغ براي حاضر شدن سر قرار نداشت.
هيچوقت يادم نمي رود دوست عزيزمان ((شين)) كه به هيچكسي التماس نمي كند ولي همبشه در حال التماس كردنت بود كه بماني نروي و يا بيايي سر قرار.
حال امروز ما را به جشن عروسي ويا بهتر است بگويم خداحافظي دعوت كردي و باز هم نمي دانيم از اين دعوت خوشحال باشيم و يا ناراحت.نميدانيم بايد بگوييم كه به اين شازده حسادت مي كنيم يا نه
گفتنش درست نيست
سودي يادت هست كه قرار بود برويم شمال وبا كلي برنامه ريزي سر از كاشان درآورديم
چه الم شنگه ايي شد و ژوزف چه ها كه نكرد و با اين همه چه خاطره شيرين و دوست داشتني در ذهنمان نقش بست.
سودي جان يادت هست هر شب كه مي خواستي بخوابي چه برنامه هايي بايد اجرا مي كردي تا آماده خواب شوي و من التماست مي كردم كه خوابم مي آيد و تو نويد مي دادي كه الان تمام مي شود و بعد از جمع كردن كلي لباس كنار تختت مي خوابيدي و حالا نوبت حرف زدنت توي خواب بود و با اون بهاره بيچاره هميشه دعوا داشتي.
يادت هست روشن كردن كولر و يخ زدن ميناي بيچاره تا حدي كه حتي متوجه زلزله آوج به آن شدت هم نشد خب بيچاره يخ زده بود
يادت هست سفر همدان و گنج نامه رفتن در آن سرماي بهمن ماه . كه تصميم به خريد تويوپ آن پسر بچه را داشتي؟ در آن صبح برفي ما را به سمت غار عليصدر كشاندي كه حتي پرنده هم پرنمي زد ولي تصميمت را گرفته بودي و بايد مي رفتي ما هم كه جز تسليم شدنت چاره اي نداشتيم.
يادت هست يادت هست ..من همه را خوب يادم هست
سودي نازنينم يادت هست بازي هر كسي كار خودش بار خودش آتيش به

مي خواهم يك اعتراف كنم.
روزاي اول كه وارد دانشگاه شده بودم تو جز كساني بودي كه چهره ات به دلم نشسته بود و با خودم فكر مي كردم كه از تو زيباتر كسي توي دانشگاه نيست .هيچ وقت يادم نمي رود وقتي متوجه شدم كه با من درس برنامه نويسي داري چقدر خوشحال شدم و وقتي ميديدم كه سر كلاس حاضر نمي شوي چقدر دلتنگت بودم .آن زمان نمي دانستم كه قرار است بهترين روزهاي عمرم را با تو و در كنار تو به خوشي بگذرانم و چقدر از اين اتفاق راضي و خوشنود هستم
و در آخر برايت بهترين آروزها را دارم و دعا مي كنم در كنار اين آقاي خوش اقبال در آن سوي دنيا خوشبخت شوي.
و هميشه در همه حال به يادت هستم و با شنيدن اسمت لبخند بر لبانم جاري مي شود.و اين يعني همه چيز هاي خوبي كه قرار است در يك رابطه دوستي حاصل شود.

با من بمان

2007-06-03T03:38:00.000-07:00

وقتي دستان پر از مهرت را در دستان مملو از نيازم مي گذاري ، گويي بار ديگر متولد مي شوم .وقتي چشمان زيباي خسته ات كه مملو از شوق ديدار است، به چشمان اشك آلود من خيره مي ماند. قشنگترين احساس دنيا در دل تنهايم جوانه مي زند.ئ

مي داني ، مي دانم ، ما خوب مي دانيم كه ذرات وجود من سر شار از نيا زبه مهرباني هاي توست.و تنها اين دل تنها مي داند كه چه در انتظارش نشسته است.د

!خوب من

!نازنينم

!مهربانم

،مي خوانمت

،باز هم مي خوانمت و با تمام وجودم

،مي دانم و نمي داني كه بدون تو هيچم

يقين دارم و شك داري كه با تو بودن برايم همه چيز است و بي تو بودن يك كابوس محض

!فرشته من

گرماي دستان كم جانت را از من دريغ ننما . كه همان خورده گرماي وجودت قادر است وجود بي چيزم را به آتش بكشد

مهربانم نمي داني در كنارت بودن براي من حكم بهشت زميني را دارد و نمي دانم از چه روست اين سيب حوا كه چاره ايي جز خوردنش برايم نمانده.ئ

بغض گلويم را مي فشارد

اشك به ديده گانم مي دود و روي گونه هايم جاري مي شود وقتي به ياد روزي مي افتم كه قرار است بدون گرماي دستانت به راهم ادامه دهم

اينرا خوب ميدانم بدون تو براي من راهي نمي ماند به جز خزيدن در جاده زندگي

،پس التماست ميكنم

بوسه بر دستان مهربان و پاهاي خسته ات مي زنم كه همراهم باشي

تا يه امروز در اين بيست و شش يا هفت سال هميشه بوده اي و بايد بگويم حضورتو بر خلاف بقيه آدمهاي دور و برم در سخترين شرايط پررنگتر و موثر تر بوده است

خواهش مي كنم

تمنا دارم با ما بمان

با من باش

تا بگذرانيم اين زندگي را

با هم و در كنار هم

Take a break

2007-05-30T00:38:00.000-07:00

This post is pretty funny :))

The funny post

من در نقش يه خروس بي محل

2007-05-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

پنج شنبه صبح از خواب به نيت دتدانپزشكي بيدار شدم.چند وقتيه كه دندوناي پرشده قبلي ،خيلي حساس شدند.از اونجايي كه مطب دكتر خيلي شلوغه هميشه ترجيح مي دهم قبل از ظهر وقت بگيرم .و به غير از پنج شنبه ها اين امكان پذير نيست.خلاصه صبحانه خورديم يه مسواك هم باري به هر جهت زديم و راه افتاديم.توي راه با خودم ديالوگ سكانس مطب دندانپزشكي رو هم تمرين كردم. در همين حين يك آن به اين فكر افتادم بابا! بيا امروز بي خيال دندانپزشكي شو.به جاي دندانپزشكي، درد و آه و ناله بيا برو آرايشگاه.و چقدر هم كه به هم ربط دارند .آرايشگاه كجا دندانپزشكي كجا:)تقريبا يك سالي مي شد كه موهاي بنده يه قيچي هم نخورده بود. بعد از ده دقيقه جلوي در آرايشگاه بودم خوش و سر مست از تصميم نا گهاني خودم .زنگ زدم شاگرد خانم آرايشگر درو باز كرد و بعد از خوشو بش و كمي شوخي ما روي صندلي نشستيم و شروع كرديم به ارد (به ضم الف)دادن ،خانومه كمي كوتاه كرد گفت بسه؟ ما هم كه جو گيرشده بوديم: نه يه كم كوتاه تر، دوباره كوتاه كرد گفت بسه؟ باز من گفتم اگه ميشه لطف كنيد كوتاهترش كنيد. خلاصه بعد از يك ساعت و نيم كار ما تموم شدو راه افتاديم به سمت منزل .چقدر هم از اين تنوع ايجاد شده خوشحال بودم تا عصر شد و براي عيادت يكي از دوستان بايد مي رفتم بيمارستان .حالا مگه اين موها زير روسري بند مي شن.يك آن با خودم فكر كردم، ديدم با با بي محل تر از من خروس نيست ديگه!توي اين بگيرو ببندو بزنو بپوش، بنده تنوع ايجاد كردم .همه فشن هاي توي خيابون دارن شبيه خانوم جلسه ايي ها مي شن . حالا توي اين حين و بين ما رفتيم موهامونو كاري كرديم كه فقط با چسب ممكنه زيره روسري بند شه آخه جالب اينجاست كه توي آرايشگاه هم كوتاه بيا نبودم :((نه كوتاهتر كنيد ))حالا مريم خانوم !وقتي ماشين گشت ارشاد مي بيني بايد براي يه سوراخ موش كل حقوق دريافتي يك ماه رو بپردازي تا اين تنوع ،حسابي باعث تفنن و شادي اعصابت شه.((به قول كاشوني ها بببعللله))لل

2007-05-23T03:57:00.000-07:00

ببينيم

بخونيم

و..........ن

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HnkdQIA5dLV1iOZaf3hBLMSp7SkraQ--?cq=1

كارت هوشمند سوخت بيا ببالينم

2007-05-20T03:12:00.000-07:00

خدا روهزار مرتبه شكر

كه همه مسائل ، مشكلات و نبودن ها، نشدن ها، همه و همه كلهم حل شد

فقط ما مشكل پمپ بنزين و سوخت گيري خودرو داشتيم. كه اون هم به لطف و مرحمت الهي و پيگيري هاي نفس گير مرتفع مي گردد

از طلوع صبح همه رسانه هاي گروهي شروع مي كنن

((كارت هوشمند سوخت را نشوئيد.((جدي ميگم همه اينارو خودم شنيدم

كارت هوشمند سوخت را خم نكنيد

كارت هوشمند سوخت را ...كنيد

...

.......

بعد حالا نوبت كارشناس برنامه است كه توضيح بده .

جالب اينجاست كه كارشناساي مختلفي دعوت مي شن كه همه اونها نظر واحدي ندارن . مجري برنامه اطلاعات كاملتري داره.

بشتابيد! جماعت بشتابيد! تا اين كارت هوشمند ((كه فكر كنم مثل بقيه پروژه ها به كارت خنگول ختم مي شود ))تمام نشده بگيريد. كه نگرفته ازدنيا نريم

از كجا گويم

كه نا گفتنم بهتر است

2007-05-16T00:56:00.000-07:00

!! خداي من متشكرم

2007-05-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

مرا به كدامين گناه به مسلخ مي برند؟

دلتنگي يا آلرژي و شايدم خستگي

2007-04-17T04:15:00.000-07:00

كلافه ام دلتنگم خب شايدم
نمي دونم شايد خسته شايدم آلرژي فصليه شايدم از خوشيه
چند وقتيه كه گيج شدم
نميدونم شما تا حالا اين حس رو داشتين كه ندونيد كجاي دنيا قرار گرفتيد يا ميخواين قرار بگيرين
بذار يه كاره ديگه كنم بشينم و خيلي منطقي به چيزايي كه دارم فكر كنم
................
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ولي فايده نداره تا ندونم چي شده اين حرفا بي فايده است بايد ريشه اين دلتنگيو پيدا كنم
دارم به كلمه كم اوردن فكر مي كنم ولي نه
دوست ندارم بهش نزديك شم نه
اصولا آدم خوش بيني نيستم شايد خوش بيني كه در حد و اندازه من يا مسائل مربوط به من نبوده به خرج دادم و حالا به امروز رسيدم
شايدم چون مسائل و مشكلاتي كه من كوچكترين دخل و تصرفي در اونها نداشتم بد موقع خودشونو به من نشون ميدن
منظورم از بد موقع اينه كه حالا زوده حداقل توي اين برهه از زمان زوده
شايدم زود نيست من خيلي دير شروع كردمو از قافله عقبم اصلا كدوم قافله مگه من قراره همراه قافله باشم
به دوربرم نگاه مي كنم به آدما به برخوردا و رفتارها به قصه ها و تجربه ها ولي اون چيزي كه من ميخوام به اين راحتي ها نيست نه اين دورو برا هم نيست اينو خيلي وقته مي دونم اصلا از زماني كه به اين نتيجه رسيدم همه نتايج و استنتاجاي قبلي نقش بر آب شد
چقدر تلخ و كرخت شدم
مزه امروز من گس گسه مثل مزه يه خرمالوي كال كال
آخه من به اين موضوع معتقدم كه هر روز آدما بسته به شرايط و رشته افكارشون يه مزه ايي دارن
شيرين
شور
بي مزه
ملس
.
.
يا مثل مزه امروز من گس
واين مزه ها مدام تغيير مي كنن

از شماره يك الي آخر

2007-04-10T05:59:00.000-07:00

نطق پيش از دستور
چند روزه اين پست ر و نصفه نيمه نوشتم و حس و حال آپلود كردن رو نداشتم بلا خره امروز تمام شد عادت ندارم كاري رو نصفه رها كنم
شماره يك
سال جديد با دلهره و انتظار شروع شد .تشويش و دلهره ي اين دل ما زياد هم بيراه نبود، خبر را آوردند ما نيز جز شنيدن چاره اي نداشتيم.چه كنيم دست ما كوتا ه و خرما بر نخيل
شماره دو
بعد از تعطيلات طولاني سر كار آمدن هم عالمي دارد.هوا گرمتر از قبل شده و دل كندن ما هم از رختخواب سختر از قبل
و اما شماره سه
اين روزها بازار سينما گرم نه داغه داغ است
فيلم هاي جديد اكران شده ارزش ديدن دارند
فيلم اخراجي ها به كارگرداني آقاي مسعود ده نمكي((كه سرو صداي زيادي چه پشت پرده و چه روي پرده به همراه داشته و هنوز هم دارد))و فيلم منتخب تماشا چي ها در جشنواره فجر شد و نيز فيلم خون بازي به كار گرداني رخشان بني اعتماد .البته فيلم مهمان هم روي پرده است.
آخرين روزهاي سال بود كه طبق عادت هميشگي با دوستان دور هم جمع شديم و بعد از مدتي زمزمه سينما رفتن در جمع به گوش رسيد ما هم همرنگ جماعت شديم و راه افتاديم .
خب سينما هايي كه فيلم اخراجي ها را روي پرده داشتند خيلي شلوغ بود .بعد از كلي ايستا دن توي صف موفق شديم و به تماشاي فيلم نشستيم.
موضوع فيلم بر مي گردد به دوران جنگ ايران و عراق. البته با يك ديد كاملا متفاوت نسبت به بيشتر فيلم هايي جنگي ساخته شده در سينماي ايران .هر چند كه فيلم هاي آقاي حاتمي كيا نيز خود در زمينه جنگ حديث مجمل دارند.
در فيلم اخراجي ها آقاي اكبر عبدي باز هم با يك دنيا هنرمندي نقش خود را ايفا مي كند .گاهي اوقات با خودم فكر مي كنم اين آقاي عبدي مثل اينكه اصلا پير نمي شود. ،خيلي وقت بود كه آقاي عبدي را روي پرده سينما نديده بوديم و امدنشان به جا بود.
آقاي شريفي نيا هم كه حاج صالح فيلم و معامله گر دنياي آخرت بود و فكر كنم تنها كسي كه بايد اين نقش را بازي مي كرد خود ايشان بود.
آقاي امير فضلي نيز با يك نقش جديد و ديالوگ هاي تازه و كمتر تكراري در اين فيلم حضور دارد كه اميدوارم بعدها نيز بتوانيم بازي هاي بيشتري از ايشون ببينيم.
آقاي امين حياي هم با بازي خود جايي براي حرف باقي نگذاشت. كسايي كه فيلم را ديدند فكر نكنم تا مدتها آن صحنه ايي كه امين حيايي از مسجد خارج مي شود را فراموش كنند .
اخراجي ها از اون دسته فيلم هايي بود كه بعد از گذشت ده دقيقه تماشاچي ميتوانست آخر فيلم را حدس بزند و آن هم شايد به خاطرزياد ديدن فيلم هاي جنگي است.
چيزي ندارم راجع به نقش اول فيلم بنويسم .
مهمتر از همه جمعيت تماشاچي ها بود بعد از مدتها سينما حال و هواي تازه به خود گرفته است.
يك آن متوجه شدم كه روي پله هاي كنار صندلي هم تماشاچي نشسته و صداي قهقه خنده ها به اوج ميرسد .
مسائلي كه در اين فيلم روي پرده كشيده شد سالهاست كه دهن به دهن مردم مي چرخد و با چشم مي بينيم ولي خب فرصتي پيش امد و آقاي ده نمكي نيز به پرده كشيد آنچه را خودشان ديده اند و شنيده ا ند.
بهتر است متذكر شوم كه
من منتقد فيلم و سينما نيستم و در تخصص من هم نيست اين يه برداشت شخصي ساده از يك فيلم بود.
به كسايي كه نديدند پيشنهاد مي كنم حتما ببينيد و در سينما هم ببينيد.
تصميم دارم فيلم خون بازي هم از دست ندهم.

هرچند شايد با اين همه درگيري ذهني مجالي براي سينما رفتن دست ندهد.
و شماره آخر
واينكه چند وقتي است كه موج هاي زندگي، من را محكم تر از هميشه به صخره هاي ساحل مي كوبد.

آخ جون بهار اومد

2007-03-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

دوباره زمين داره رخت و لباس نو مي پوشه
دوباره گل و گياه جون مي گيرنو نفس كشيدنو شروع مي كنن
روزاي پايان سال رسيده مردم به شدت در تكاپوي آماده كردن خودشونن براي پذيرايي از بهار
بهار خانم خوشومد ي

از همين جا از پشت ميز و روي صفحه وب لاگم رسيدن بهار رو به همه تبريك مي گم و براي همه عزيزان از صميم قلب بهترين ارزوها رو دارم

شاد و پيروز باشيد

اثرات تلقين

2007-03-05T03:13:00.000-08:00

از صبح امروز تا نزديكاي ظهر با يه بسته بيسكويت ويفر درگيري ذهني پيدا كرده بودم
صبح سر راه مثل هميشه براي صبحانه خريد كردم اينبار با عجله يه بسته بيسكويت برداشتم يه لحظه به عكس روي بسته نگاه كردم ديدم كه عكس كيويه خوشحال شدم چون كيوي دوست دارم
خلاصه رسيدم سر كار و يك ساعت بعد خوردنو شروع كردم در حين كار هر از گاهي چشمم به عكس روي بسته بيسكو.يت مي افتاد كمي مكس مي كردم و دوباره بي اهميت به كارم ادامه مي دادم بعد از يكي دو ساعت به عكس روي جلد دقت كردم با خودم گفتم اين عكسه كيوي
چرا اين مدليه دونه هاي كيوي كه اين شكلي نيست چه طراح مسخره اي
بعد از نيم ساعت دوباره دقت كردم واي خدااااااااي من
اين عكس كيوي نيست اين عكس طالبيه..................
و من از صبح دارم اسانس طالبي مي خورم و مدام به خودم تلقين مي كنم كه نه اين كيويه الانم كه دارم اين جريانو تايپ مي كنم خندم گرفته
نخير حسابي توي ذهن من شلوغ پلوغه

واسه خودم خيلي جالب بود چون به شدت به بو و مزه حساس هستم و هر طعم و مزه ا ي رو خيلي سريع تشخيص ميدم ولي امروز ديگه جز موارد نادر بود يعني امروز اين مسا له نقض شد

:)

2007-02-13T21:00:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE

عجب صبحي بود امروز

2007-01-24T00:08:00.000-08:00

اول كه خواب موندم خيلي شيك ديشب از شوق خواب و رختخواب يادم رفت كه ساعت كوك كنم .ساعت هفت خيلي اتفاقي از خواب بيدار شدم تازه اون موقع يادم افتاد كه بايد ساعت كوك ميكردم ولي خب ديگه خيلي دير بود.
از تخت جدا شديم نه به آسوني تازگي ها علاقه خاصي به تختم پيدا كردم و با هزار تا سلام و صلوات از اون كنده ميشم .
از اونجا كه وقتي ديرم ميشه به جاي اينكه سريعتر اماده شم و راه بيا فتم كندتر ميشم البته اين عادته بچگي هام.كلي طول كشيد تا كلي لباس بپوشم و حاضر شم
حالا آماده شديم و رسيديم جلوي آسانسور نه نمي اد خيال نداره به اين طبقه برسه يك آن متوجه شدم كه كسي تو آسانسور گير كرده و به در آسانسور مي كوبه هيچي ديگه راه افتاديم به سمت پله ها به در ورودي كه رسيدم به نگهبان گفتم فكر كنم يكي گير افتاده اون هم گفت نه فكر نكنم. اين چيزا
از بلوك بيرون اومدم به ميدون گاهي كه رسيدم تاكسي ايستاد و اول متذكرشدم كه پول خورد ندارم آخه سري قبل راننده مي گفت من پول خورد ندارم من مي گفتم حالا من چي كار كنم مي گفت اين مشكل شماست اوا
وقتي تاكسي مي خواست مسافراشو پياده كنه جلوي در پاركينگ ايستاد كه يك دفعه پليس با عصبانيت و تحكم عجيب غريبي داد زد كه مدارك ، گواهي نامه كارت ماشين نفهميدم اونجا امروز چه خبر بود آخه يك بار ميآن مي گيرنو مي برن پاركينگ، جريمه ميكنن دفعه هاي بعد تاكسي ها وسط ميدون مسافر سوارو پياده مي كنن خبري هم نيست افراط و تفريط كه مي گن همينه
حالا اينجا رو داشته باشين ما توي يك صف طويل ايستاديم منتظر تاكسي و شاهد داد و بيداد آقا پليسه مهربون هم هستيم انگار كه شب بيداري هاشو مي خواد از حلقومه مردم بيرون بكشه
ما دوباره سوار تاكسي شديم همچين تاكسي خدا نصيب نكنه فكر كنم راننده تاكسي بدل كاري چيزي بود نمي دونم
اگه بدونيد چطور با غرولند گاز ميداد از يك سانتي ماشينا توي خيابون شلوغ سبقت مي گرفت هيچي ديگه
ما چشمامون گشاد شده بود و داشتيم به انواع مختلف تصادف فكر ميكرديم همينجوريش ما ازرانندگي مي ترسيم
يكي از مسافرا وسط مسير پياده شد واي نمي دوني چقدر دلم مي خواست به جاي اون مسافره بودم
وسط راه راننده با يه صداي كلفت گفت كسي پونصدي داره من هم با ترس و لرز بلا فاصله پونصدي و تقديم كردم جرات نكردم به راننده يه نگاه بندازم حداقل دفعه بعد اشتباه اينبارو تكرار نكنم
حالا توي اين هيرو وير دو تا از مسافر ا سر آرنج اون يكي دعوا شون شد يكي شون مي گفت اقا آرنجتو از اينجا بردار اون يكي مي گفت بردارم كجا بذارم
خلاصه بساطي داشتيم امروز وقتي از تاكسي پياده شدم فكر كردم دوباره متولد شدم قابل ذكر است كه با اين همه باز هم دير رسيديم:)

......

2007-01-20T21:58:00.000-08:00

اين پست جالب نوشته شده خوندنش خالي از لطف نيست
http://drhmt.blogspot.com/2007/01/blog-post_4379.html

روزهاي دلتنگي من

2007-01-20T04:09:00.000-08:00

مي نويسم تا به ياد داشته باشم روزهاي دلتنگي و تنهايي را
مي نويسم و مي خوانم اين نوشته ها را يكبار نه بلكه چندين بار.تا ذره ذره وجودم به ياد داشته باشد روزهاي لرزش و تشويش را
مي نويسم تا به ياد داشته باشم تنهايي هايت را نگراني هايت را
مي نويسم تا به ياد داشته باشم نگا هاي بي انتهايت را بغض گره خورده ات را
مي دانم اينرا خوب مي دانم كه تو اي نازنين نا نوشته به ياد خواهي داشت لحظه لحظه اين روزها را
اينرا خوب مي دانم كه اين دلهره ها و تشويش ها عمري است كه همسفرتوست
و اين من هستم كه بي بهانه به دنبال بي انتهايي مي گردم
تو مي داني و مي شناسي اين راه را و نيز تو مي شناسي دل كوچك و پر دلهره ام را
اينرا مي دانم كه چراغ راهم را در دستان تو جاي خواهم گذاشت اينرا خوب مي دانم
مرا به خاطر نبودن هايم به خاطر ندانستن هايم و مرا به خاطر ندين هايم ببخش
مي نويسم تا به ياد داشته باشم جدايي هاي بي انتهايم را . مي نويسم مي نويسم مي خوانم نه يكبار بلكه چندين بار اين مرثيه ها را
تو نا نوشته خواهي خواند انتهاي اين راه را

اينرا من خوب مي دانم

بازي با تاخير

2006-12-25T00:10:00.000-08:00

گيلدا خانوم ممنونم كه منو به بازي شب يلدا دعوت كردين
امروز دقيقا چهار روز ه كه از شب يلدا مي گذره ولي من هم بدم نمي آد توي اين بازي شركت كنم هر چند با تاخير چون از اين بازي خوشم اومد
اول اينكه
بنده در حفظ كردن مطالب ضعيفم و اينكه اسامي افراد رو بعد از كلي تكرار تازه ياد ميگيرم
دوم اينكه
در ابراز احساسات بسيار كند و تنبل هستم.
سوم اينكه
هميشه در تصميم گيري هزار بار پشيمون ميشم، شك مي كنم، بعد از اينكه با هزارتا سلامو صلوات تصميم مي گيرم . چندبار پشيمون ميشم و در آخر به اين نتيجه مي رسم كه از اين بهتر نميشد
چهارم اينكه
به راحتي نمي تونم به حرفاي آقايون محترم اعتماد كنم مگر در موارد خاص و نادر
پنجم اينكه
در روابط عاطفي بسيار حساس دلنازك و همچنين مغرور هستم
البته خب موارده ديگه ايي هم هست كه خدارو شكر قراره فقط پنج مورد عنوان شه وگرنه

............
و در آخر من هم .بلاگرهاي محترم
Arsh,Alireza,Chegini
رو به اين بازي با تاخير چشم گير دعوت ميكنم
دو تا از مدعوين منتخب رو ننوشتم چون قيلا دعوت شدن

خسته ام از اين همه ناامني

2006-12-23T04:58:00.000-08:00

چهار شنبه عصر بود هوا نسبت به روزاي قبل كمي بهتر شده بود ساعت چهار از شركت راه افتادم نزديك خيابون اصلي كه رسيدم يه دفعه تصميم گرفتم كه كمي پياده روي كنم
شروع كردم به تماشاي ويترين مغازه ها
تقريبا غرق در افكار خودم بودم كه يه آن متوجه شدم دو تا پسر كنارم هستن قبل از اينكه اونا منو ببينن من متوجه حضور اونا شدم از اين متعجبم كه چطور يهو با ديدن من تصميم گرفتن و تصميم هم عملي كردن
يكي از اونا به من حمله كرد من كه از تعجب خشكم زده بود يه لحظه هنگ كردم كه خدايا اين مي خواد چي كار كنه پسره كيف دستي منو گرفتو كشيد
از اونجايي كه دومين بار بود اين اتفاق برام مي افتاد به خودم اومد مو بند كيفمو چسبيدم .حالا اون كيفو مي كشيد من داد مي زدمو بند كيفو مي كشيدم ،دو دستي به كيفم چسبيده بودم توي اين بگيرو بكش دلم مي لرزيد كه مبادا چاقويي چيزي دربياره .
ناخن هاي پسره توي پوست دستم فرو رفته بود گيره هاي كيفم داشت باز مي شد ولي ديوونه بي خيال نمي شد.خلاصه بعد از كلي داد زدنو سماجته من ديد فايده نداره اينبارو شانس نياورده
فرار كرد. خب از اونجايي كه تقريبا مردم هم قريب به اتفاق دارن خصلت يك نوع ازمحصولات كشاورزي كه پر مصرف هم هست به خود مي گيرن نقش تماشاچيو بازي مي كردن شايد هم فكر كردن كه لابد دختره خودش خواسته ...چه مي دونم
بعد از فرار آقايون من هنوز توي شوك بودم باورم نمي شد .با همون حال نيمه هوشيار راه افتادم حالم مثل كسي بود كه يك دفعه توي درياچه اي از يخ افتاده باشه.بعد نشستم توي تاكسي مثل مرده متحرك شده بودم پوست دستام به خاطر چنگ زدناي آقا دزده زخم شده بود ولي اين زخم ها نبود كه مي سوخت اين سوزش دلم بود كه اذيتم مي كردو به خاطر اين درد بغض گلومو گرفته بودو اشك تو چشمام حلقه زده بود سعي مي كردم اشكامو نگه دارم .
از اين دلم مي سوخت كه چرا نه شب و ن روز نبايد توي شهري به اين بزرگي و شلوغي امنيت باشه.
آخه جالب اينجا بود كه بعد از اينكه دزدا فرار كردن من هرچه نگاه كردم دريغ از يك پليس تازه بازم مجبور بودم كلي پياده روي كنم توي مسير هم خبري نبود كجا بودن نميدونم شايد توي ماشين هاي بنزطرح ارشاد بودن
و لازمه بگم كه
من هميشه از اينكه يك زن به دنيا اومدم خوشحال بودم و هستم
دردناك ترين لحظه زمانيه كه مجبوري تويه يه نبرد تن به تن و نا عادلانه مثل زمان باستان براي دفاع شخصي متوسل به چنگ ودندون بشي اينجاست كه ناخودآگاه يك آن آرزو مي كنم كاش مرد بودم فقط يك آن .
من از اين همه نا امني خسته ام.

شب يلدا:)

2006-12-20T00:30:00.000-08:00

امروز بيست و نهم آذر ماه ست فردا فصل زرد رنگ پاييزي هم تموم مي شه. و زمين خواب سفيد و آرومي رو شروع مي كنه.زمين به استراحت نياز داره تا بتونه در فصل سبز بهار به نحو احسن خودشو نشون بده.
با اين تفاصيل شب يلدا يعني بلندترين شب سال داره از راه مي رسه.بله اولين شب زمستون
شب يلدا رو دوست دارم به خاطر همه صميميت هايي كه بهمراه داره
شب يلدا رو دوست دارم به خاطر تاريخچه قديمي و اصالتي كه در لحظه لحظه وجودش نهفته ست
شب يلدا رودوست دارم چون ميدونم كلي از آدما از زماناي خيلي قديم اين شبو با هم در كنار هم جشن گرفتنو حالا نوبت منه كه به شكوه اين شب برسم
شب يلدا رو به خاطر مهرو محبتي كه از جمع كردن آدما كنار هم ، سرخي كه از انار و هندونه و طعم و مزه اي كه از آجيل و خشكبار مي گيره دوست دارم.
افسوس و صد افسوس كه شب يلداها هميشه يكرنگ و شبيه هم نيستن

امسال من با يلداي كمرنگ خودم چه كنم.
نازنينم مهربانم چه صدايي را جايگزين نجواهاي پر مهرت كنم
فال يلداي مرا كه بخواند
چه كسي مي تواند اين فال را به زيبايي و لطافت تو بخواند چه كسي
خوب من
ميدانم ميدانم
كه نگاه هاي عميقت هر يك حكايت و غزلي است شنيدني
ولي جان من
خود بگو كه يلداي بي صداي تو را چه كنم ........

شب يلدا بر همه شما مبارك

از هر دري سخني

2006-12-10T23:48:00.000-08:00

بالاخره تصميم گرفتم كه يه پست جديد آپ كنم
اول اينكه

فكر كنم تقريبا هفت سال پيش بود زماني كه ما تازه وارد دانشگاه شديم اينطور كه مي گفتند جو دانشگاه نسبت به سال هاي قبل خيلي تغيير كرده بود و اين تغيير و تحول نتيجه يك تحصن دانشجويي چند روزه بود
طبق گفته دانشجو هاي قديمي همه كلاس هاي دانشگاه تفكيك شده سالنهاي دانشگاه با ميله هاي آهني و قفل و زنجير جدا شده بودند و دختر ها و پسرها حق ديدن همديگرو توي دانشگاه نداشتن حالا بيرون دانشگاهو مي خواستن چيكار كنن نميدونم
تصور كنيد سالنهاي يك ساختمون چند طبقه با درهاي فلزي فقط براي جدا كردن خانم ها و آقايون از هم جدا بشن
خلاصه اينكه يه چيزي تو مايه هاي زندان هاي مطرح جهان
شايد دروغ نگم كمي هم از اونا ايده گرفته بودن ولي يادشون رفته بود كه اينجا دانشگاه ست ما و امثال ما هم اگه خدا قبول كنه و بنده خدا اومديم اي سوادكي ياد بگيريم
بماند كه چادر اجباري بوده پوشيدن شلوار جين گناه كبيره آرايشو لاك ناخن نگو اصلا حرفشم نزن كه كلامون مي ره توهم
اينم بگم كه اين مسائل در زمان اولين دوره رياست جمهوري آْقاي خاتمي بود
خدارو هزار مرتبه شكركه ما يه يكسالي به خاطر شونزده روز كم بودن سن مون دير رفتيم مدرسه ودر نتيجه يك سال هم ديرتر وارد دانشگاه شديمو اين زندان دانشگاه نما رو نديديم
بعد از تحصن همه اين درهاي آهني برداشته شده بود و ديگه چادر اجباري نبود تصور كنيد ديگه ما مي تونستيم شلوار جين بپوشيم واي خدا جونم ما با اين همه آزادي چه كار كنيم
بعد هم ديگه از اين خبرا نبود هر از گاهي يه چشمه نشون مي دادن ولي خبري از اون همه آهن و فولاد نبود
تا اينكه چند روز قبل من براي گرفتن يك سري مدارك مجبور شدم سري به دانشگاه بزنم
از اونجا كه هوا سرد بود ما علاوه بر مانتو يه باروني سفيد پوشيديمو راه افتاديم
اول بسم اله جلوي در ورودي دانشگاه كه يه سر سرا واسه خانم چادري ها ساختن جلوي ما رو گرفتن كه دقيقا با همين لحن كه خانمم نمي شه با اين پوشش وارد دانشگاه شي
من كه داشتم از تعجب شاخ درمي آوردم يه لحظه به خودم نگاه كردم ببينم كجاي كار ايراد داره ولي باز نفهميدم
كه خانومه ادامه داد لباستون سفيده توجه داشته باشين پوشش نا مناسب و در خور تذكر لباسه سفيده
من در حالي كه سعي مي كردم عصباني نشم گفتم كه من امروز يه كاره مهم دارمو از اين حرفا بالاخره بعد از كلي صغري كبري چيدن راضي شد كه من وارد دانشگاه شم ولي گفت
كه دكمه بارونيتو باز كن و تاكيد نمود بذار باز باشه كه ببينن زير باروني مانتو پوشيدي و كسي ايراد نگيره اينجا ديگه شاخ هاي من از شدت حرفاي تا به حال نشنيده در اومده بود
ما هم دكمه هارو باز گذاشتيمو راه افتاديم بعد به اين نتيجه رسيدم كه تعويض بعضي پست هاي مديريتي در دكمه و رنگ لباس دانشجو ها تاثير مستقيم و وافري داشته
انديشيدن به عمق مطلب هم به عهده خود شما

دوم اينكه

هفته پيش براي من يه اتفاق با مزه افتاد بدم نمي آد شما هم بخونيد
حدودا ساعت هفت شب بود كه مي خواستم از يه چهار راه ردشم با توجه به اينكه عادت دارم حتي اگه ماشيني هم رد نشه صبر كنم تا چراغ عابر سبز شه بعد راه بيافتم اينبار هم ايستادم و منتظر شدم تا چراغ عابر سبز شه
حالا صبر نكن كي صبر كن يه لحظه به خودم اومدم گفتم
وا چرا اين چراغه سبز نميشه
كمي دقت كردم متوجه شدم
بببببعععله من سه چهار دقيقه ست كه پشت چراغ چشمك زن ايستادم خودم به شدت خندم گرفته بود ولي ترجيح دادم با اعتماد به نفس كامل از چهارراه رد شم و اصلا به روي خودم نيارم
روز بعد براي همكارم ماجرا رو تعريف كردم اون گفت اشكال نداره من با ماشين پشت چراغ چشمك زن ايستادم
شايد اينو گفت كه من زياد از خودم نا اميد نشم

پروردگارا

2006-11-11T22:43:00.000-08:00

پروردگارا
به من آرامش بده
تا بپذيرم آنچه را كه نمي توانم تغيير دهم
دليري ده
تا تغيير دهم آنچه را مي توانم تغيير دهم
بينش ده تا تفاوت اين دو را بدانم
مرا فهم ده
تا متوقع نباشم دنيا و مردم آن مطابق ميل من رفتار كنند

دكتر علي شريعتي

انتقادات اتوبوسي يك روزه عادي

2006-11-04T03:17:00.000-08:00

مثل خيلي روزاي ديگه توي ايستگاه منتظر اتوبوس بودم كه بلاخره اتوبوس وليعصر از راه رسيد خدارو شكر صندلي خالي واسه

نشستن بود و منم نشستم و خودمو با مطالعه سرگرم كردم تا شايد سرو صداي موتور اتوبوس و ماشينهاي بيرون كمتر اذيتم كنه
تقريبا از شهرك خارج شده بوديم راننده اتوبوس جلوي يه ايستگاه شلوغ ايستاد و كلي جمعيت حمله ور شدند به طرف اتوبوس البته ما ديگه به اين صحنه ها عادت كرديم صداي خانوما بلند شد مثل هميشه فكر كنم پاي يه نفر لاي در اتوبوس جا مونده بود چند نفر دادزدند درو بزن آقاي راننده درو بزن خلاصه بعد از كلي سلام و صلوات راه افتاديم در همين حين يه خانوم كنار من نشسته بود و يك خانوم ديگه كنار ما ايستاده
سر صحبت باز شد و شروع كردند راجع به كم بودن اتوبوس ها سوار شدن نا بجا مسافرها سياست هاي غلط سازمان اتوبوسراني صحبت كردن كم كم بحث سياسي شد و به اينجا رسيد كه مردم ايران مظلوم هستند هر بلايي سرشون بياد صداشون در نمي آد بعد به اين نتيجه رسيدن كه مردم تو سري خور شدند و به هيچ بي عدالتي اعتراض نمي كنند و از اين حرفا ما هم اين وسط گوش مي داديم هر از گاهي سري تكون مي داديم
نزديكيهاي مقصد شد كه يكي از همين خانوما كه تقريبا 50 سال سن داشت و كمي هم تپل بود به من گفت سردرد گرفته من هم با لبخند گفتم از بس امروز حرص خوردين كه يك دفعه با كمال ناباوري گفت نه چرا حرص بخورم به من چه ربطي داره من هم يكي مثل اين مردم من كه از تعجب داشتم شاخ در مي آوردم چيزي نمونده بود بگم پس اين يك ساعته دارين از خودتون انتقاد ميكنيد و خورده ميگيرين
اين مسير رفت بود و اما مسير برگشت
باز هم داستان تكرار ميشه يه خانوم حدودا 45 ساله كنارم نشسته بود صحبت از بي عدالتي هايي كه جامعه و قانون عليه خانوم ها روا ميدارند صحبت كرديم من هم سرم درد ميكنه واسه اين يه مورد
من گفتم اون گفت من گفتم اون گفت
در همين حين كه ما هم عقيده و هم راي بوديم من گفتم كه خانومي با دو تا دختر مي شناسم حال به دلايلي با همسرش زندگي نمي كنه و با دو دخترحدودا 20و 23 ساله اش است ولي براي اجاره كردن آپارتمان لازم است هر بار مادر پيرش بيايدو قرارداد به نام مادرش نوشته شود
كه با كمال ناباوري خانومه در جواب تعجب من از اين قضيه گفت
خب البته من هم به خانوم خونم اجاره نمي دمو هزار اتفاقه ال ميشه بل ميشه اگه اينطوري بشه اگه اونطوري بشه
منو نمي گي دلم ميخواست سر خودمو نه سر اون خانومو به سقف اتوبوس بچسبونم زنه بي عقل آخه تو كه هم جنسي اين نظرته تازه قشر فرهنگي جامعه هستي ديگه چه انتظاري از مردا با ان سال سابقه مرد سالاري بايد داشت
كاردم ميزدن خونم در نمي اومد خدارو شكر دو ايستگاه بعد پياده شد وگرنه نمي دونستم از شدت عصبانيت چي ميگمو چي ميشنوم

شب خوب

2006-10-28T04:01:00.000-07:00

مدتها بود كه خودم بودم و خودم
مدتها بود كه در و ديوار خونه دل محروم از شنيدن هر صداي طنين اندازي بود مدتها بود من بودم و من بودم و من
ولي بلاخره اون شب خوب رسيد بله بعد از چندين شب بد شب خوب از راه رسيد و من غوطه ور در اين شب
شب خوبي بود با همه صداهاي آشنا و دلنشين جاي يك صدا خالي بود هر چند كه نگاهش به جاي چندين صدا طنين انداخت
شنيديم گفتيم خنديديم درددل كرديم و لحظه لحظه اين شب رو بوسيديم
خدايا چقدر دوست داشتم كه اين شب تمام نميشد ولي شب من هم مانند همه چيزهاي خوب دنيا تمام شدني بود
دروازه خونه دلم ديگه از سركشي نكردن بقيه دلهابه جونم نق نمي زنه
سقف اين خونه رنگارنگ ازصداهاي دلنشين ذره ذره خود و لبريز از شوق
دوست دارم و عشق مي ورزم به تمام صداها و بي صدايي ها
واي چقدر دلتنگ بودم و حالا چقدرآرومم ولي

فرياد

2006-10-18T00:32:00.000-07:00

فرياد زين جماعت نه چندان كم فضول فرياد
آه و فغان زين جماعت بيكار و نه چندان مهربان
فرياد ز جماعت ايران زمين به همراه خصائص نه چندان ايران زميني فرياد
چه كنم چه كنيم ما كه سرك كشي در سراي اين جماعت ندانيم چه كنيم
چاره اي انديش اي مرد
كه سر كردن با جماعت اين سرزمين آسان نبود

دنياي متفاوت آدمها

2006-10-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

-اي كاش آدما به اندازه اي كه راجع به اطرافيانشون فكر و قضاوت مي كنند به همون اندازه با كلامي واضح و خيلي راحت هر چند نا خوشايند حرف بزنند
نمي فهمم واقعا نمي فهمم آدما هر كدام با يك دنياي متفاوت و حتي عجيب و غريب چرا فكر مي كنند اطرافيانشون عزيزانشون بايد شبيه خودشون فكر كنند حرف بزنند ناراحت بشن خوشحال بشن ودر كل شبيه خودشون باشن و در حين فكر كردن قضاوت كنن محكوم كنن و در دادگاهي كه مخصوص دنياي خودشون هست براي دنياي ديگري حكم صادر كنن و حتي در بعضي موارد حكم را به اجرا بذارن
چرا راه دور بريم
اين مورد در خود من هم صادقه آدما رو بايد همانطور كه هستن بپذيريم دوست داشته باشيم بهشون عشق بورزيم يا اينكه حتي متنفر باشيم
از خودم مي پرسم كه مريم چرا بايد از بقيه انتظاراتي داشته باشي كه در چارچوب قوانين دنياي درون طرف مقابلت كه ميتونه مادر پدر دوست يا آشنا باشه جا نمي گيره
چرا سعي نمي كني اطرافيانتو خانواده تو دوستاتو همانطوري كه هستن بپذيري توبه دنيا نيومدي كه آدما رو تغيير بدي حداقل اينكه اين وظيفه تو نيست مريم بهترين كاري كه مي توني انجام بدي مديريت صحيح دنياي بزرگ درونته
در آخرلازمه بگم كه من خودمو مثال زدم كه جريان رطب خورده چون الي آخر پيش نياد

در ضمن امروز براي من يك روز معمولي نيست بيست و شش سال پيش در همچين روزي زير آتيش بارون و صداي آژير قرمز و زرد جنگ به دنيا اومدم انگيزهم از متولد شدن تو اون شرايط چي بوده نمي دونم ولي سعي ميكنم امروزو خيلي خيلي شاد باشم بلاخره آدما در سال يه روز تولدشونه ديگه

پاييز طلايي

2006-09-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

پاييز طلايي
با برگهاي زرد و نارنجي
با بوي كتاب هاي نو و دفترهاي رنگارنگ
از راه مي رسد
و مرا با خود به عمق خاطراتم مي برد
به روز اول مدرسه
به دلتنگي هاي كودكانه
به گلهاي داوودي قرمز و صورتي باغچه

سريال نرگس و كلي آموزش و آگاهي

2006-09-17T01:59:00.000-07:00

تلويزيون ايران باز هم از سر لطف و توجه بيش ازحد و اندازه به بينندگان هر شب مبادرت به پخش سريالي به نام نرگس نمود
كساني كه اين سريال را ديدند و يا مي دونند جريان از چه قراره كه هيچي
ولي براي افرادي كه اطلاعات زيادي ندارند لازم است كه بگويم اين سريال پر بيننده ايراني هر شب از شبكه سوم سيما پخش مي شد قسمت ها ي اول اين سريال چون مشكلات جوانهاي ايراني را تا حدودي به تصوير كشيده بود بيننده زيادي را جذب خود كرد ولي افسوس پس از چند قسمت كارگردان اين سريال دقيقا مثل خانم هاي كد بانو كه برايشان مهمان سر زده از راه ميرسد و شير آب را روي آبگوشت باز مي گذارند شد و شلنگ آب را به خاطر طولاني شدن سريال روي آن باز كرد
مساله ايي كه توجه مرا جلب كرد در قسمتهاي آخر اين سريال اتفاق افتاد
يك پسر جوان پس از مدتي كه در خارج از ايران زندگي مي كرد به ايران بازگشت و حال و روز درستي نداشت بعد متوجه شدند كه اين فرد مبتلا به يك بيماري است بيماري كه اين جوان مبتلا شده بود چيزي نبود به غير از ايدز
ولي اما افسوس از نظر كارگردان اين بيماري نبايد عنوان مي شد يعني كسي اسم اين بيماري را علنا به زبان نياورد
مسخره نيست به جاي آگاهي دادن و آموزش هاي لازم به جوانها از عنوان اسم يك بيماري كه همه دنيا در تلاشند به دارو و يا واكسني جهت جلوگيري از اين بيماري دست پيدا كنند روي گردان باشيم
آخه چرا
سانسور در صلاح بودن و نبودن حذف پنهان كاري تاكي و تا كجا
ديگر كشور ها بيشتر انرژي خود را در راه پيشگيري از بيماري مي گذارند وبه بچه هاي ده دوازده ساله آموزش هاي لازم را در شرايط خاص مي دهند
ولي ما نميتوانيم با توجه به شرايط چه شرايطي نمي دانم كارگردان بهتر مي داند اسم بيماري را به زبان بيا وريم و هر روز آمار مبتلايان به ايدزبيشتر و بيشتر مي شود
چه كسي جوابگو اين همه جهل و ناداني و همچنين عوارض ناشي از آن است

شركت در جشني غير منتظره

2006-09-10T04:12:00.000-07:00

پيش از اينكه چيزي بنويسم اينو بگم كه من نه قصد توهين به مقدسات كسي رو دارم و نه دنبال بازي هاي سياسي هستم و بر اين معتقدم كه عقايد آدما قابل احترام ست
ساعت 7 غروب روز جمعه بود بايد جايي مي رفتم از قبل قول داده بودم با اينكه اطرافيان مخالف رفتن من بودند ولي من به رفتن مصر بودم نفر دومي نيز همراه من شد راه افتاديم قبل از اينكه دكمه آسانسور را بزنم از پنجره كريدور صف طولاني ماشينها ي سواري را توي لاين خروجي شهرك ديدم با خودم فكر كردم كه گره اين ترافيك سنگين كجاست ولي بي توجه گذشتم
راه افتاديم چند دقيقه اي كنار خيابون ايستاديم ولي دريغ از يه تاكسي و يا اتوبوس بعد از چند دقيقه راننده يه اتوبوسه گفت كه ميدون آزادي بسته است باز هم من طبق معمول كه سر حرف خودم پا فشاري مي كنم گفتم خب مثل هميشه كمي ترافيك سنگينه اين اداها چيه نمي رن و بسته استو
دو نفر ديگه هم به ما اضافه شدند دو نفر جديد پيشنهاد كردند تا آزادي در بست بگيريم كمي خنديديم همين موقع يه سواري از راه رسيد از ما ميدان آزادي گفتنو از اون هم سوار كردن
از خونه ما تا آزادي در روزهاي معمولي سه دقيقه طول مي كشه و در روزهاي شلوغ ده دقيقه
تا اينجا رو داشته باشيم
به محض اينكه سوار شديم پيچ خروجي شهرك به سمت آزادي رو ماشين رفت ولي هنوز پنجره آپارتمانها رو مي تونستم ببينم كه ماشين توي ترافيك گير كرد بله گير افتاديم هر بيست دقيقه يك بار ماشينا ده متر جلو ميرفتند وحشتناك بود همه راننده ها از ماشيناشون پياده شده بودند هنوز من نمي دونستم چه خبره ماشين جلوتر رفت دو تا مسافري كه همراه ما بودند تصميم گرفتند پياده به سمت ميدون راه بيفتند ولي ما پياده نشديم به هر حال دختري گفتن پسري گفتن چه معني داره دختر ساعت هشت شب توي خيابون بدون يه شير مرد راه بيفته خب پس هر بلايي سرش بياد حقشه طبق چه قانونيو تبصره اي نميدونم توي بلاد ما اينطوري ديگه
خب با اين تفاسير ما مونديم با راننده ماشين كه يك پسر حدودا بيستو دو سه ساله بود و اطلاعات اجتماعي و سياسيش اي كاش در حد صفر بود
خلاصه اونهم غر غر مي كرد ولي بي فايده بود تقريبا نزديك هاي ميدون آزادي بوديم يعني دورنماي ميدون نمايان شده بود اون شب ميدون آزادي مدينه فاضله من شده بود تازه تازه چيزايي داشت دستگيرم مي شد بله جشنه اوه من تا حالا با اين وضع تو جشن بودم واي خدا جونم من بايد الان خوشحال باشم يا ناراحت بله دوستان جشن نيمه شعبانه ميدون آزاديو بسته بودند توجه داشته باشيم كه ميدون آزادي ميدون ورودي شهر پر تردد مثل تهران توي شب تعطيلي بسته باشه تا جشن داشته باشيم ما هم جز مردم غيوري بوديم كه توي جشن شركت كرده بوديم جشن اجباري مثل همه كارهاي اجباري كه بايد بدون چون و چرا انجام بديم نميدونم آيا توي اون جمعيت كسي بود كه پرواز داشت و بايد خودشو سر ساعت به فرودگاه مي رسوند فكر نميكنم چون همه جمع شده بوديم كه توي جشن بزرگ شركت كنيم و جشن هم مهمتر از پروازو اين صحبتهاست
آيا مريضي بود كه بايد به بيمارستان مي رسيد باز هم اين چه صحبتيه پس جشن چي ميشه بره بيمارستان ولي اول بايد تو جشن شركت كنه
آيا عروس و دومادي بودند كه توي ترافيك گير كرده باشند و كلي مهمون منتظرشون باشه
فبها المراد خب اينهم جشن بزرگتر و بهتريه ديگه چقدر ايراد مي گيرين مگه مسلمون نيستين
واي خدا چقدر از دست خودم از دست مردم از دست حرص خوردم
وقت من وقت تو وقت هيچ كس پشيزي ارزش نداره دلم مي خواست همون شب از ماشين پياده بشم برم باني جشن و مغز متفكر رو پيدا كنم دستشو بگيرم و اين بي نظمي و شلوغي شهر نشون بدم و ازش بپرسم واقعا فكر اينجاشو كرده بودي شايدم از قبل ميدونسته ولي وقت من نوعي چند منه دلت خوشه ها
بلاخره ساعت نه ما به مدينه فاضله مون رسيديم دو ساعت شادي و جشن دو ساعت توي دودوترافيك دو ساعت آتش بازي دو ساعت ...

مي خوانمت اي خوب من

2006-09-02T00:20:00.000-07:00

مي خوانمت ولي صدايي نمي شنوم دوباره صدايت مي زنم باز هم به غير از سكوت چيزي نيست به دنبال صدايت مي گردم ولي بي فايده است ديگر صدايي نيست آخ باز هم فراموش كردم كه ديگر صدايي نيست
حال چه كنم چه را جايگزين نجواهاي روزانه ات بنمايم اي از جان بهترم
مي دانم مي دانم كه برق چشمانت گوياتر از هر صدايي است ولي گوشهايم را چه كنم كه تشنه زمزمه هاي مهربانت است چشمانم به جستجو مي پردازد سعي ميكند كه با ديدن بشنود باز هم سعي ميكند ولي حلقه اشك اجازه ديدن نمي دهد ديگر چيزي پيدا نيست به غير از موج زدن قطره هاي اشك در ساحل خشك تنهاي چشمانم
خودت به من آموختي كه دريا باشم دلي به بزرگي دريا داشته باشم ولي دلي به بزرگي دريا نيز به صداي هميشگي امواج خود نياز دارد درست مثل دريا
من تشنه زمزمه هايت تشنه صداي دلنشينت هستم
مي خواهمت
با ذره ذره وجودم وجودت را مي خواهم

روستاي سنگي وركانه

2006-08-26T05:02:00.000-07:00

چند روز پيش خيلي اتفاقي از يك روستا سردرآوردم بنام وركانه تقريبا ميشه گفت معماري خونه هاي اين روستا با روستاهاي ديگه فرق داشت همه كوچه هاي ده سنگ فرش بودندوخونه هاش از سنگ هاي صافو تيره رنگ ساخته شده بود كوچه ها جدول كشي شده وچراغ هاي روشنايي قشنگي كه مناسب سنگ فرش ها بود كنار پياده رو تعبيه شده بود در ضمن اين ده كلي درخت گردو داشت من تا به حال باغ گردو به اين بزرگي نديده بودم
ناگفته نماند كه ما از صاحب يكي از همين باغ ها اجازه گرفتيم و چند تايي گردوي تازه چيديم بعد هم از يك جاده خاكي صعب العبور كه من يكي تقريبا نيمه جون شدم گذشتيم و كنار يه سد بزرگ كه اسمش نمي گم اتراق كرديم كاري نداشتيم به جز شكستن گردوها كه من از بوي پوست سبزشون حسابي مست شده بودم.
حسابي خوش گذشت آخه هوا هم معركه بود
از راه برگشت چيزي نمي گم چون خيلي راه بدي بود و من طبق معمول كمي ترسيده بودم

هنگ كردم

2006-08-13T05:22:00.000-07:00

چند وقته ذهنم گره خورده اونم گره كور
از لحاظ جسمي هم كه زياد روبه راه نيستم
اي واي راجع به اين همه چيز چطور مي تونم فكر كنم بعد هم به نتيجه دلخواه و از همه مهمتر درست برسم000000

و اما مشق شب امروزي

2006-07-26T00:22:00.000-07:00

گاو ما ما مي كرد
گوسفند بع بع مي كرد
سگ واق واق مي كرد
و همه با هم فرياد مي زدند حسنك كجايي
شب شده بود اما حسنك به خانه نيامده بود.حسنك مدت هاي زيادي است كه به خانه نمي آيد.او به شهر رفته و در آنجا شلوار جين و تي شرت هاي تنگ به تن مي كند.او هر روز صبح به جاي غذا دادن به حيوانات جلوي آينه به موهاي خود ژل مي زند.
موهاي حسنك ديگر مثل پشم گوسفند نيست چون او به موهاي خود گلت مي زند.
ديروز كه حسنك با كبري چت مي كرد .كبري گفت تصميم بزرگي گرفته است.كبري تصميم داشت حسنك را رها كند و ديگر با او چت نكند چون او با پتروس چت مي كرد.پتروس هميشه پاي كامپيوترش نشسته بود و چت مي كرد.پتروس ديد كه سد سوراخ شده اما انگشت او درد مي كرد چون زياد چت كرده بود.او نمي دانست كه سد تا چند لحظه ي ديگر مي شكند.پتروس در حال چت كردن غرق شد.
براي مراسم دفن او كبري تصميم گرفت با قطار به آن سرزمين برود اما كوه روي ريل ريزش كرده بود .ريزعلي ديد كه كوه ريزش كرده اما حوصله نداشت .ريزعلي سردش بود و دلش نمي خواست لباسش را در آورد .ريزعلي چراغ قوه داشت اما حوصله? درد سر نداشت.قطار به سنگ ها برخورد كرد و منفجر شد .كبري و مسافران قطار مردند.
اما ريزعلي بدون توجه به خانه رفت.خانه مثل هميشه سوت و كور بود .الان چند سالي است كه كوكب خانم همسر ريزعلي مهمان ناخوانده ندارد او حتي مهمان خوانده هم ندارد.او حوصله ي مهمان ندارد.او پول ندارد تا شكم مهمان ها را سير كند.
او در خانه تخم مرغ و پنير دارد اما گوشت ندارد
او كلاس بالايي دارد او فاميل هاي پولدار دارد.
او آخرين بار كه گوشت قرمز خريد چوپان دروغگو به او گوشت خر فروخت .اما او از چوپان دروغگو گله ندارد چون دنياي ما خيلي چوپان دروغگو دارد به همين دليل است كه ديكر در كتاب هاي دبستان آن داستان هاي قشنگ وجود ندارد.

آخه چرا

2006-07-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

آخه چرا بين شادي و غم به اندازه يه چشم بهم زدن فاصله است
چرا بعد از مدتها خستگي و كسلي براي چند ساعتي بيشتر نبايد شاد باشي
خدا جونم آخه چي ميتونم بگم